7. That Time Paul Bearer Died
Wrestling. The 2004 Great American Bash is low-key one of the worst pay-per-views WWE ever made. Here are some of the matches.
Luther Reigns vs. Charlie Haas, Kenzo Suzuki vs. Billy Gunn, Mordecai vs. Hardcore Holly, Eddie Guerrero losing the WWE Championship on a technicality and the main event, Taker vs. The Dudleys with the stipulation that if the deadman won, his longtime, I want to say, employer friend, uncle in law? Would be murdered by being drowned in cement.
Thanks, I hate it. Batman Currethers ended up winning the match and, I guess to prove that Paul wouldn’t hold him back, chose to pull the lever and drown in cement. Thanks, I hate it.
Because a televised murder is a bit, y’know, weird, on the next episode of SmackDown, WWE made Michael Cole do a serious face and say ‘err… he suffered severe injuries to the lungs’ so we might not see him again, which is, yeah, another term for drowning, but was WWE hastily retconning bearer’s status to alive, because yeah it’s… murder… SIGH.
6. The Giant Son
No not Dominick Mysterio, we’re actually briefly leaving WWE and talking about good ol’ WCW and well, it’s The Big Show.
Before he turned up in the WWE in early 99, Big Show had been a mainstay of WCW for a good few years, known as The Giant. He was called the Giant because his gimmick was that he was the son of Andre The Giant.
He had long hair, wore the same style of singlet as his “dad”, when he appeared Bobby Heenan would say things like ‘i remember those boots, I remember those trunks’ he did things like rip off Hulk Hogan’s crucifix necklace (ripping off when Andre did it before ‘Mania III) and attack him in amazingly cornball Dungeon of Doom segments, screaming things like ‘I’m the son of a giant’.
WE GET IT GEEZ. For context, Andre had only been dead for two years at this point so yeah… nngghhh, not great.
WCW kept him as the giant, kept him in Andre’s singlet, had hogan bodyslam him at Halloween Havoc 1995 but slowly phased out mentions of Andre, because you know, ick, but according to interviews, Paul Wight still to this day has people telling him how much they loved his dad. Mrrrrrrrr.
5. Edge Comma Christian
And speaking of family connections just sort of going away, anyone remember when Edge and Christian were brothers?
You should, it was the entire point of their 2001 feud, Edge and Christian were brothers and Grandma Edna preferred Edge. And who wouldn’t, TNA fans that’s who.
In 2009, after Christian returned from being the instant classic over in Dixie Carter’s promotion, suddenly he and Edge were no longer siblings but childhood friends, ‘as close as most brothers’ they would say.
On the April 30 episode of SmackDown 2010, on Edge’s last episode on SmackDown thanks to the Draft, Edge and Christian laid out their history saying to the fans with Christian saying “you remember the history of Edge and Christian ‘we sure do” said the fans, “we met in the 6th grade” “sorry, what” said the fans because I think we remember your history more than you.
What about Grandma Edna Christian, you can’t just ERASE Grandma Edna, this is why she preferred Edge!
4. Triple H and Steph Are Married And Divorced And Married
Ah, Triple H and Stephanie, a tale as old as time, a song as old as wine. Boy meets girl, boy hates girls, boy interrupts girl’s wedding to show footage of him actually already marrying girl while she was passed out…
…boy fights girl’s dad, girl betrays dad, girl and boy are happy for a bit, then girl suspects boy doesn’t love her anymore so lies about a pregnancy, boy finds out and wrecks their vow renewal ceremony, boy divorces girl years later…
…boy and girl actually get married in real life, it becomes an unacknowledged secret for years until another boy, a snake boy, attacks girls father, then the girl and then boy comes out to defend his sort of secret wife’s honor…
…but also everyone knew they were married but they never officially talk about and then they become this famous married couple in the industry even though in official WWE canon they’re still divorced or something I honestly don’t know. Beauty and the beast.