10 Scariest Wrestlers Of All Time

Happy Halloween everyone. It’s the most wonderful time of the fear. Hope the spooky scary skeletons treat you nice this season, and you finally get to egg that crusty old Dean.

Halloween isn’t normally the best time to be a wrestling fan because normally that means Hell in a Cell and in the last five years Hell in a Cell matches haven’t exactly been the most reliable.

However, with Hell in a Cell already out the way, WWE decided to schedule their second most horrific PPV type, a Saudi Arabia show.

Boooooo, look at all that blood, just all over WWE’s hands, don’t worry I’m not going to spend another list pissing all over WWE’s disgustingly gold plated chips, we did that last week, check it out if you feel like feeling sad for a little bit, this week, we’re celebrating something a bit more positive. Like… a bit more.

We’re looking at the wrestlers who were best at striking fear into the hearts of the audience, but like, in a fun way, like… mostly in a fun way.

I’m Adam, hailing from partsFUNknown and these are our 10 Scariest Wrestlers of All Time

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10. The Undertaker

Oh I can hear you all rushing to your keyboards, the sad inevitability of feigned outrage, surely as the most famous horror-themed gimmick of all time, SURELY the undertaker has to be number one.

Well he isn’t, and don’t call me Shirley, because, and I’ll say it slowly for everyone to understand, The Undertaker is not now and never has been scary.

He wasn’t scary as a dead cowboy like he was in a Deadwood branded pantomime, he wasn’t scary as a biker, unless you think burying Kurt Angle is scary, and he wasn’t scary in his final incantation of the Deadman, no matter how many rocking chairs he set fire to with lightning.

He’s a legendary spookums gimmick so yes it would be heresy to leave him off the list, but here’s a list of non-scary things Undertaker has done.

That Netflix movie which is nowhere near as good as we were hoping for, making Josh Matthews talk like him with possession, taking Teddy Long on a shisha joyride, that weird laugh he had with Brock Lesnar, killing his friend with cement.

I guess the closest Prop Tragedy ever came to IRL shivers was Ministry of Darkness Taker but that’s mostly because he tried to once marry Stephanie McMahon, a truly terrifying prospect.

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9. The Boogeyman

I mean… right… scary feels like a strong word for a man who looks like if Flava Flav died by drowning in ketchup.

He’s more like a stripper that’s taken his gimmick too far than a demon, but you can’t really deny that The Boogeyman was, at the very least, unnerving.

Like, you’re really uncomfortable when he’s around, but that’s mostly down to the ick factor of the image of him with a mouth of real-life worms. Like yes, that sets my oh no senses tingling.

Hearing his entrance music filled me with dread as a younger fan, so I guess that’s something in the neighbourhood of fear, although it’s probably the part of the neighbourhood that would smell really bad and have to be situated at least 15 blocks away from a school.

Maybe he counts more as scary because if you don’t act afraid of him, Jim Cornette will find you and slap the shit out of you. It all adds up. 

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8. Abadon

Just really distressing to look at. Wrestling history is full of people who wouldn’t otherwise seem that scary but have managed to create an intimidating look out of face paint.

Sting is a big silly grandpa, but the face paint makes him spooky, Luna Vachon those cracks and veins she used to paint on her face made her seem genuinely crazy, ditto Bull Nakano.

Rosemary has worked wonders with the paint, Demon Finn Balor creates something cool apart from that one time, at Halloween lest we forget when he morphed into Demon Finn, Pumpkin Spice edition, but by far and away, the pinnacle of wrestling makeup is Abadon because Jesus Christ.

You are what you eat, and they just walked down to the ring immediately after eating the girl from the ring without even wiping the blood off first.

Genuinely it’s better monster design than in half of modern horror cinema.

Abadon looks like what WWE thinks Lily looks like, and if you woke up to find them standing at the foot of your bed, you would scream your brain out through your eyes.

• scariest wrestlers
• kane
• Adam Blampied
• wwe

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