3. Losing It On Real Sports
Oh man, and we’re capping off our trilogy of Vince being a nutter to interviewers with a display of hyper-masculine aggression that genuinely wouldn’t look out of place in the most by-the-numbers high school movie ever made.
Maybe not as an excuse, more of an explanation, Vince is being interviewed about Deaths in Pro Wrestling by Real Sports, obviously a much more heated topic than, that Trish thing was weird, and what’s the deal with all the hoes, instead the line of question was more, ‘are you in any way responsible for the premature deaths of wrestlers who wrestled for you at one time’ and Vince is having absolutely none of it.
For the most part, he maintains an incredibly careful and menacing drawl, but once, just once, he breaks.
You can almost see it happen in slow motion, he’s interrupted, closes his eyes, tries to keep it in check, before pulling a comedy boohoo face and no joke, tries to slap the papers out of his interviewer’s hands.
Like a high school jock trying to knock a nerd’s homework from his fans, in the face of scrutiny, vince loses his cool and turns into a macho parody.
2. Vince Is Gonna Give Shane A F**king Beating
If there was one thing Vince used to be relied on for, it was for a good promo.
Genuinely, for a time, he might just have been the best promo in the company, someone on whom you could depend for a larger-than-life performance of chutzpah and villainy.
But we all get older and part of that, as much as Vince might refuse to admit it, is a diminished capacity for skills and talents that once came so easily.
Vince isn’t that great a promo anymore, often he’s a downright bad one, but this was one of the first proper warning signs, where the chairman of the board, the emperor of his company’s message, who dictates all of the words that announcers, wrestlers and commentators are banned from using, lost his cool in a promo to the extent that he dropped an f-bomb into a live mic.
It’s mad, on the February 22 episode of Raw in 2016, shortly after Shane McMahon returned for a super weird feud with the Undertaker, Vince threatened his son, reveling in quotes “one last opportunity to give him a f**king beating”.
Jesus, Vince, you potty mouth. Brad Maddox got canned for calling the fans cocky pricks during a dark segment, but you just raised the stakes.
1. The 2005 Royal Rumble
As yet, the moment you all came to see. Where Vince lost his cool so much that he fired his own legs. It’s an overtold story so we’ll keep it brief.
Cena and Batista botched the finish to the Rumble, went out at the same time, Vince got ticked off, stormed down to the ring, hurling his jacket to the ground, ready for an impromptu bit of in-the-moment crisis management, blew out both of his quads sliding into the ring and had to sit on the ring canvas in a tremendous storm of anger and pain, like a concertgoer who’d just been told that The Eagles were not in fact coming back out for an encore.
The audacity. A total implosion of mind, body and soul from one of the maddest to ever do it. Vince, never change. Unless you can, in which case, maybe can you