10 Worst WWE Saudi Arabia Matches

7. Brock Lesnar vs. Cain Velasquez – Crown Jewel 2019

On the premiere episode of SmackDown on Fox, WWE booked Brock Lesnar to beat Kofi Kingston in one move so that they could have enough time to run an angle with the debuting Cain Velasquez.

Oh wow, said WWE, in all caps and comic sans, the epic rematch between Lesnar and Velasquez, for the WWE Championship, at Crown Jewel, how exciting!!

At Crown Jewel, Rey Mysterio brought his other son down to the ring, big fight feel, and the big fight was two boring cuddles, one kick, and then done in 90s seconds, with Velasquez tapping out the Kimura, not even on f**king camera!

You know what’s good about wrestling being fake, it’s that you can plan exciting things and then make exciting things happen.

This match was the first and only one to feature Cain Velasquez before the company went on to release him six months later. Bloody hell, thanks for coming.

The show was partially sold on this 90s seconds, at least Tyson Fury vs. Braun Strowman went a little longer, it wasn’t a lot better but at least it was… a thing. This was nothing. Sorry, Kofi.

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6. Shane McMahon vs. Roman Reigns – Super Showdown 2019

The Best Wrestler In The World vs. The Big Dog. A sellout no matter which arena you book it. Crikey moses, this match though. 10 minutes that felt like 20.

Also, Shane McMahon DOMINATES Roman Reigns, with his crappy little punches like he’s a cat batting a bit of paper around a table.

Sure, it’s down to McIntyre interference, but so much of this match is Shane, drenched in sweat looking like Paulie from the Sopranos after he’s been chased by dogs through a rainstorm, pink to the point of kidney failure, praying to his dad that his heart won’t explode, holding Roman Reigns in endless rest holds while the crowd dies and dies and dies.

Look at him, look at him trying to do MMA on Roman. It’s like a CEO paying his fitness instructor to just let him beat him up for 10 minutes because he’s in a mid-life crisis.

And then, at the end of it, Shane McMahon wins!! He beats Roman!! After constantly beating The Miz for months on end, he knocks off the big pup too.

Goddamn, it would be funny if it wasn’t so head in your hands boring, which it is. It really really is. And it’s only the third worst match at Super Showdown 2019. What’s the second? That would be…

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5. Lars Sullivan vs. Lucha House Party – Super Showdown 2019

I hate everyone and everything. But especially this match. But ESPECIALLY Bart.

Lars Sullivan debuted on the main roster in April 2019 and proceeded to have only one notable feud, a woeful series of matches against Lucha House Party, a stable made up of Kalisto, Gran Metalik and Lince Dorado, and the tagline for that stable might have well been ‘f**k you, cruiserweight classic’.

Before Sullivan got injured in that feud, benching him for over a year, they had this match at Super Showdown 2019 and to call it the drizzling s**ts would be to give IBS a bad name.

A three-on-one handicap match wherein the babyfaces cheat in order to gang up on the monster heel, ending the match in a DQ.

Just let that booking sink in for a little bit, what’s the point, what’s the f**king point of ANY OF THAT.

The five minutes that led up to one of the worst finishes on a major WWE show would be a grim omen for the kind of wrestling that would take place a year later because the match occurs to absolute silence, broken only by LHP’s ill-fated attempts to get a Lucha chant going.

It’s genuinely painful to watch as Sullivan manhandles the babyfaces, literally the only thing of interest is Corey Graves on commentary describing Lars as ‘something Hannibal Lecter dreamed up in a lab’ because that’s NOT WHO HANNIBAL LECTER IS.

To which Michael Cole responded ‘good point’. Jesus wept.

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4. Brock Lesnar vs. Ricochet – Super Showdown 2020

How can a promotion waste Ricochet? HOW do you screw that up, one of the most imaginative, and awe-inspiring high-flyers, not only of his generation, but all time, how do you bollocks up someone that talented THIS bad.

At Super Showdown 2020, which is probably one of the most baffling pay-per-views WWE have ever produced, WWE booked Ricochet to challenge Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship and everyone around the world thought one thing.

Ricky’s not going to win, but it’ll be super fun to see what kind of Cirque du Soleil flippies he can pull over with a base as strong as Brock Lesnar. Oh, how wrong we were.

Brock Lesnar, doing what he does best in Saudi which is turn up, win, and piss off immediately, BURIED Ricochet.

The word buried is overused in wrestling journalism, often used to create undue emotion around a fairly standard loss. Not so here, this is a burial.

Ricochet does not get ONE move of offence on Lesnar, and is destroyed to such an extent that he looks really bad at wrestling, greatly diminishing his future starpower and THAT is what a burial truly is.

Horrific booking. Why not just have a match? You’re both there! Just have a f**king match. Maddening, and speaking of rage…

• Adam Blampied
• saudi arabia
• Goldberg
• wwe

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