Well, not everything be the Winged Eagle, can it? In the kayfabe world of wrestling the achievement of a big gold cumberbund is everything. As wise man Kevin Owens once said, “I fight for a prize, that is the prize, that means more money, that means a better life” and the championship should reflect that in its design. The NXT UK championship, gorgeous, the big gold belt, historic, the gift of the gods championship, wonderfully mortal kombat stupid, a good title belt represents an athlete at the peak of their carrers, the envy of their colleagues and someone whose trousers are definitely NOT going to fall down which is the highest mark of nobility in all the land. Some of these belts however, resemble more of a dunces cap than a symbol of achievement, some wrestlers should be fighting to NOT wear them and some represent the most shocking sartorial snafus sighted in a squared circle.
These are the 11 Worst Wrestling Championship Belts Ever
11. The NWA Made Some Terrible Belts You Guys
The National Wrestling Alliance was founded over 70 years ago and was once the dominant brand in the wrestling industry. However, being over 70 doesn’t always mean you’re great, as proven by your crap granddad, tell me another story about old coins idiot, and some of the designs the NWA have dribbled out over the decade wouldn’t be good enough for Blind Ham Johnson’s Shack of Antiquital Bulls***. Cases in point, Lou Thesz’s tiny NWA World Heavyweight belt it looked like he made from some old coins your crap grandad would tell you about, this version of the NWA JUNIOR Heavyweight Championship that looks like it’s have your f***ing appendix out if you bend to tie your shoelaces and honestly, come at me all you want, but the famous NWA World Heavyweight Championship, the Ric Flair, Harley Race belt, one of the most important bits of hardware in the history of rough and tumble, it’s … like… it’s bad, guys. It’s squat, the colours on the flags really clash, it looks cheap, the US flag being off to one side gives in a distracting asymmetry and also, and you won’t be able to unsee this I’m sorry. It looks like a face with derpy eyes and a big clown nose. Not since mick jagger has something so ugly meant so much to so many.
10. Jam That Jam
Like the NWA Heavyweight belt, the Universal Championship is proof that we can get used to anything if it sticks around long enough. Btw, for those wondering, jam that jam is a reference to a tattoo that hulk hogan has on his forearm that says I am that I am, but it actually looks like it says Jam that Jam. Anyway, yes, the big red sticky mess that is the universal belt, a design so horrible it ruined an entire summerslam. And you know what, yes it’s terrible, yes it looks infected and yes it looks more like someone carrying around a skinned animal carcass than a championship, but ALL of WWE top belts are a homogenous shambles right now. Raw Womens’s, Smackdown Women’s, WWE, Bluniversal, they’re all the same f***ing belt and it’s just an ugly corporate logo on a strap. Yes, we’re all used to the WWE championship design, but we must never forget that wwe championships used to look like this, and not a gift shop keyring.
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