6. Kung Fu Naki
He’s Japanese. Kung Fu is Chinese. As a blackbelt in Feng Shui, I should know.
Better known as Funaki and one half of the adorable Japanese Announce team at WWE pay-per-views, Funaki was actually just called Funaki, his real-life surname until 2008 when he revealed that his actual full name is Kung Fu Naki. I can relate. My real name is Pete Quinnellephant.
If you think that Funaki started his time in WWE as part of Kai En Tai, a faction that once tried to cut off Val Venis’ penis, you may say that being called Kung Fu Naki is actually one of the better things that happened to him during his career.
Those of you with bigger brains than me (all of you) will have noticed that his name has Kung Fu in it, the famous Chinese martial art.
Upon becoming Kung Fu Naki, he altered his moveset to be more like a theatrical martial artist, because WWE is really respectful when it comes to appreciating cultures.
Amazingly, the gimmick never caught on and he was released in 2010.
5. Thurman “Sparky” Plugg
Oh, Hardcore Holly, what did they do to you?
Thurman is…an interesting first name. Combine that with the nickname “Sparky”, which by itself isn’t overly terrible, and the last name of Plugg, and you have…I don’t even know what this is.
Is he an electrician? A car enthusiast? A hyper-active man?
Why is he named after a sparkplug, one of the least intimidating parts of a car, shortly after air conditioning and a satnav. He could have been named the engine, or the hood, or the exhaust pipe, I don’t know.
Luckily this name didn’t stick around for long, and he was quickly changed to Bob “Sparkplug” Holly, which is…fine. I guess.
He underwent further transformations later on in his career to become just Bob Holly, then Hardcore Holly, which is much, much better.
Mantaur. Man. Taur. Okay, so. A Minotaur, that beast from Greek mythology, is already half-human, half-bull, so does that make Mantaur… three-quarters human and a quarter bull? Wait that can’t be right, because this is a full four quarters of bulls**t.
“The Minotaur” would be a fine nickname for a wrestler. Lars “The Minotaur” Sullivan, or Andre “The Minotaur” The Giant. Big “The Minotaur” Show. Va “The Minotaur” der.
Okay so it might not fit most wrestlers, but it could still work as just a nickname to showcase the brutish nature of them, but Mantaur?
To the surprise of no-one, the character lasted about 6 months before trampling its way off our screens.