It’s that time of the year again, better than Christmas, better than Thanksgiving, better than any holiday you can name, it’s the WWE Draft.
When Vinny Maccy’s Wacky Attackies take all their toys, put them in a box and shake the box as hard as they can hope that it fixes all of their toys.
Maybe it will, maybe it won’t, but in case you missed either Raw or Smackdown or, if you’re lucky, both, I’m here to run down each and EVERY SINGLE draft pick and rank them in order of the bad the good and the crushingly indifferent.
No more talk, we have a long road to travel, let’s do this. I’m Adam hailing from partsFUNknown and this is Every Drafted WWE Superstar of 2021 RANKED.
The Free Agents
First up let’s talk about The Free Agents, the people who weren’t drafted either for storyline reasons, because of injury, or because WWE plum forgot.
Eva Marie
First up, Eva Marie was surprisingly ignored this year, doubly surprising when you consider everything we know about Vince and what he likes. Maybe we’ll get Eva on BOTH brands. We can only hope.
Shane Thorne
Shane Thorne was also forgotten but that makes a little more sense considering he was a sentient plate less than a year ago.
Gran Metalik & Lince Dorado
Ditto Lucha House Party’s Gran Metallik and Lince Dorado, floating in the ether just writing Cruiserweight Classic in their diaries over and over again.
Elias
Elias will be singing the world’s saddest song, left unpicked, forgotten, and roaming, which is the most drifter thing he’s done in ages to be fair.
Maryse
Maryse is apparently still technically on Raw, but lives in reality tv land now, so wasn’t mentioned.
Lacey Evans
Lacey Evans was excluded because she’s still off on maternity leave, and very much all the best to her.
Bayley
Bayley remains a free agent as she remains on the bench to heal up from her torn ACL.
Asuka
Asuka is rehabbing her hand injury, similarly lost in space.
Brock Lesnar
And finally Brock Lesnar declared himself above all this petty t-shirt colour bullshit, straight up announcing he’ll go where he damn well pleases, which is at least honest.
Let’s move onto The Bad, the people, teams and factions for which the draft comes as a savage blow.
