WWE Christmas Carols

Ok, y’all, it’s Xmas time again and if you’re looking for the perfect stocking stuffer, WWE has you covered. Time Life and Vince McMahon present: A WWE Christmas, Pal! This exclusive album brought to you in stereophonic hi-fi and contains all your Xmas favorites sung by WWE’s top superstars!

After you’ve heard the WWE superstars’ sweet serenades, you’ll surely want to join in the fun. Well, now you can! Included in the album are the chords for all your favorite songs!

Colored Belts (to the tune of Silver Bells)

G                       C
Colored belts, Colored belts

D                D7          G
It’s branding time in WWE

G                      C

Too many belts, ugly as hell

D               D7       G

What were we thinking?

 

G               G

Universal, Championship

C                 Am7

was colored by a child

D                                                     G

And the Tag Team belts brought to you by Crayola

G                        G

People laughing, people gasping,

C               Am7

at the belts tacky style

D                       D7                G

at best the design choices were weird

 

G                     C
Colored belts, Colored belts,

D                 D7                        G
The leather dyed looks kinda s****y

G                  C

And the belt, made for the Fiend

D                    D7                        G

Looks like an Edge-lord’s fantasy.

 

Austin Got Run Over by Rikishi

[CHORUS]

E

Austin got run over by a Rikishi

A

Walking around at Survivor Series

E

You can say this storyline is stupid

B                                       E        D, A, E

But Austin needs spinal surgery

 

[VERSE 1]

N.C.                                        B

He’d been drinking too much whiskey

E

lacing up his boots before the fight

E7                             A

he was taking on Trips and Rocky

 

B                                             E

For the WWE Championship that night

 

C#m                         G#m

Austin went to cut a promo

B7                                                 E

When Triple H stuck his nose in

E7                       A

but to be fair to Hunter

B                                    E

It’s hard to tell where that schnoz ends.

 

[REPEAT CHORUS]

 

[VERSE 2]

N.C.                                    B

When we found him lying backstage,

E

At the scene of the attack

E7               A

He had Stink-Face on his forehead

B                                             E

And incriminating tire marks on his back

C#m                                        G#m

Then they replaced him with Big Show

B7                                                             E

Cause that’s what the fans all paid to see

E7                                      A

Instead of the three best wrestlers

B                                                   E

They watched two guys take on a sentient tree.

 

[REPEAT CHORUS]

 

Wyatt Xmas

[INTRO]

G, Gsus4, G

 

[VERSE 1]

G                        Am   D        D7

I’m dreaming of a Wyatt Christmas

C                    Am           G                  Gsus4, G

Where the fireflies all glow

G                    G                                G7

Where the bloody flesh glisten, and

C                    Cm

And children listen,

G                       Em                Am                 D, D7

to hear The Fiend from Down Below

 

 

[VERSE 2]

G                        Am   D        D7

I’m dreaming of a Wyatt Christmas

C                    Am              G               Gsus4, G

where the Funhouse is a sight

G               G7                C           Cm

All your days will be merry and bright

G         Em Am   D           G

Just let him into your life

 

G                        Am   D        D7

I’m dreaming of a Wyatt Christmas
C                    Am           G                  Gsus4, G

Rocking near the lantern light

G                           G7            C           Cm

May your days be scary and fright

G         Em Am   D           G

Just let him into your life

 

Taker the Deadman (to the tune of Silver Bells)

[VERSE 1]

G

That’s Taker the Deadman
C                     G

He’s here to collect souls

C                        G

With a tombstone and a choke slam

D                        G
And a heart as black as coal

 

[VERSE 2]

G

Taker the Deadman

C                          G

Buried everyone in his way

C

Whether it was Al Snow

G

Or the Big Show

C         D7      G
He’d pin them all the same

 

[BRIDGE 1]

           C                                 Bm

There must have been some magic in

Am                       G

That urn to which he’s bound

D                              Dbdim
For when Paul placed it near the ring

Em                       D
He’d beat some jobber down.

 

[VERSE 3]

G

Taker the Deadman

C                        G
Was over as he could be

C
And the children say

G
They could watch all-day

C         D7      G
Him Tombstone Koko B

 

[VERSE 3]

G

Taker the Deadman

C                                 G
Knew the gimmick was wearing thin

C
So he went to Vince

G
Who lacked common sense

C         D7      G
and made a biker out of him

 

[VERSE 4]

G

So down to the ringside

C               G
The Badass did come

C                          G
Driving here and there all around the square

C              D7 G
On a Harley Davidson

 

[VERSE 5]

G

For Taker the Deadman

C                       G
the pipe organ really fit

C
it made us cry

G
cause we didn’t know why

C                 D7   G
He’d come out to Limp Bizkit

 

[BRIDGE 2]

C                       Bm

But the fans didn’t like it

Am              G
So he reverted back

D                           Dbdim
but not before we suffered through

Em                   D
a few years of biker crap

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! This was officially my 100th article on WrestleTalk and I’ve had a blast. Thanks to everyone who’s enjoyed these ridiculous features. If you’re brave enough to record yourself playing one of these WWE Xmas Carols, send me a link on Instagram or Twitter. Whoever does the best version gets a prize. Probably whatever bottles are leftover from the office Xmas party…

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