WWE Raw – April 15, 2019 (Review)

The Worst of Raw

The… Viking… Experience

I mean, for the love of God, man.

As if that wasn’t enough, Raw decided to add another layer to this unwelcome dish – like stale garnish on a turd sandwich – by making them heels and changing Hanson and Rowe’s names to… Erik and Ivar?

Honestly, they sound like a couple of guys who sell timeshare in a three-star Nordic resort. And I’m pretty sure WWE has previously tried a tag team with a similar sort of gimmick. How did that work out for them again?

This is, without a doubt, the worst rebranding of an NXT call-up we’ve ever seen. To the point that, as excellent as the War Raiders (I’m not calling them by that goofy name) are, I’m deeply concerned that they won’t be able to overcome it.

Also, why throw them in an 8-man match? I understand it’s trivial by comparison, but it’s hard for an act to stand out when they’re surrounded by six other bodies. Just let them debut in a standard tag bout – as babyfaces. It gives them the best chance of showing off their skills.

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Drift Away

It’s not so much Elias that wears me out, as it is the formulaic segments he features in. Every week we see the same ordeal play out: Elias strums his guitar, unloads some rather unkind words about a local sports team’s playoff chances, and then gets interrupted by… someone. It’s harmless fun that kills a few minutes, but really, who does it serve?

Elias is barely more than a comedic jobber at this point, who certainly doesn’t have the credentials necessary to put someone over. So no one looks good beating up Elias; it’s like feuding with Dolph Ziggler: everyone’s had a go.

This week saw a brand-hopping Rey Mysterio intervene during ‘The Drifter’s performance. Apparently, he’s a big fan of Canadian ice hockey and takes exception to anyone who’d run it down. Anyway, he got a few shots on Elias before Lars Sullivan decided to come down.

Which brings me onto…

Debuts to Forget

With a few exceptions, there was a discernible lack of impact by any of the new Raw recruits.

The Viking Experience (sigh) pinned one of Zack Ryder or Curt Hawkins… let’s go with Ryder. The Miz continued his feud with Shane McMahon. Rey Mysterio got a few shots in on Elias before being absolutely flattened by Lars Sullivan. The Usos defeated Bobby Roode & Chad Gable. Andrade cheated to pick up a win over Finn Bálor. And Naomi just showed up.

Although no one was explicitly harmed by switching allegiances to their new brand, it’s equally apparent that few really benefitted from making the jump either. The Superstar Shakeup is meant to be an opportunity to elevate someone who was perhaps flailing on one brand to achieve greater success on a new show. Unfortunately, arbitrarily changing names, beating perennial mid-carders and getting decimated by an unproven giant is not the way to do it.

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The People’s Villain

It would be great if the people we cheered were actually good guys, while the people we booed were not. Crazy idea.

Sami Zayn falls into the category of people we want to cheer. In the two weeks he’s been back since injury, Zayn has received some of the loudest crowd responses of any wrestler on the roster. But despite this, he’s stubbornly maintained his heel character, deriding the fans and running down host cities.

Last night saw Raw return to Zayn’s home province of Quebec, predictably generating loud cheers for the native Canadian. Instead of embracing them though, he chose to dismiss the fans as ungrateful kingmakers. The Montreal crowd was still loud as their cheers turned to boos, but what could have been an electrifying moment was instead reduced to a pretty familiar heel attack on the audience.

WWE could have a genuinely over babyface on their hands. But instead, they seem intent on gradually dulling the fan’s enthusiasm by forcing Sami to heel it up. Tragically, he wasn’t even the most frustrating element of this segment…

Who Really is Alexa Bliss?

A months ago she was fawning over Finn Bálor’s abs. Weeks later she was the enthusiastic, proud host of WrestleMania. Then she morphed into the vengeful proxy for the McMahons, exacting revenge on the Usos for forfeiting their spots in the New Day’s gauntlet challenge.

Last night she flipped full babyface by defending the people of Montreal against Sami Zayn’s derisive words. None of this had any reason, none of it made sense. I’m at an absolute loss to explain Alexa Bliss’ motivations.

Tag Team Champion Jobbers

During the short time that the Women’s Tag Team Titles have been in existence, it’s hard to claim that the people holding them have experienced a lot of success. Despite being the inaugural champs, Bayley and Sasha had a fairly forgettable reign which unceremoniously ended at WrestleMania 35.

I was very complimentary of the decision then to have The IIconics, as new holders of the belts, face off against local enhancement talent on SmackDown last week. It gave them a chance to shine in a pre-match promo, before picking up an easy victory to establish themselves as a legitimate tag team threat. That’s how you build the credentials of inexperienced, first-time heel champions.

So how did Raw follow that up? By having them lose to the makeshift duo of Bayley and a debuting Naomi in under three minutes. It’s hard to get too upset when having the champions get squashed by new challengers seems to be the modus operandi for the women’s tag team division, but it’s still garbage booking.

A Lack of Star Power

It feels harsh saying this, but SmackDown did not send its best last night. Once all was said and done, Raw was able to poach Andrade, The Miz, Rey Mysterio, The Usos, Naomi and AJ Styles from its sister brand.

While each of those names are good to great wrestlers, with the exception of AJ Styles, it’s hard to see any of them making a splash near the top of the card. The simple truth is that Raw has felt stale for much of the past year, and I’m not convinced that this particular injection of fresh blood is enough to reanimate the struggling show.

This is not a Draft

The days of brand General Managers alternating picks in composing their perfect rosters are long gone, replaced by a fairly unengaging method of simply having wrestlers appear in segments.

This is not the most exciting way of conducting a shakeup, both in terms of end product and kayfabe reasoning. What is the criteria for selecting a wrestler from the opposing brand? How does the shakeup work? Why didn’t Raw try to bring across more top-level stars? It’s a disappointingly lacklustre method of transferring talent and one that lacks the intrigue of proper drafts.

5 years ago by Nicholas Holicki

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