WWE Raw – September 30, 2019 (Review)

WWE Raw – September 30, 2019 (Review)

Last night, Raw kicked off what is perhaps the most hotly anticipated week of wrestling in almost two decades. Unless you count those five minutes in 2010 when TNA moved to Monday nights, which I certainly do not.

Because the first week of October in the year of our Lord 2019 brought with it brand new, “season premieres” of both Raw and SmackDown. In addition, it marked the blue brand’s shift to Friday nights, the first full foray of NXT on USA Network, and the live TV launch of AEW Dynamite.

But as far as our Monday offering is concerned, while Raw wasn’t undergoing the massive changes of its wrestling counterparts, it was – much like the main character in a high school comedy from the 1990s – getting a long overdue makeover.

With new commentators and theme music, redesigned graphics, a revamped stage and… PYRO!…, Raw felt largely unrecognisable from the overindulged, lumbering fossil it had become in recent years.

But in order to solidify that new package, the show needed to ensure that it was more than just a shiny new wrapper. The juicy wrestling centre needed to feel fresh too. And to that end, WWE had put together quite the card.

Billed as the proverbial (and entirely meaningless) “season premiere” of Raw – a tagline that was bound to come up more than once – the lineup featured appearances by Ric Flair and Hulk (“Boo!”) Hogan. If that didn’t float your boat, or if you were under the age of 35, then Raw also had some enticing wrestling on offer.

Ziggler and Roode were scheduled to defend their tag belts against Heavy Machinery. Cedric Alexander would, once again, challenge AJ Styles for his United States Championship. And Seth Rollins had a match against Rey Mysterio, with the threat of the ‘Fiend’ looming ever-present.

So with much to dissect, and an equal amount of excitement in the air, let’s get to the review!


The Best of Raw

New Presentation

I’m not sure how much of this was borne from being worn-out by Raw’s old packaging, but the first few moments of the show alone elevated the entire product.

We heard a cool new theme song, complete with more contemporary graphics, and – as soon as we went live – an explosion of pyro. By returning to what we saw some 15 years ago, Raw was able to feel fresh and exciting from the get-go. I loved it!

Also worth mentioning is the new commentary team of Vic Joseph, Dio Maddin and Jerry Lawler. I had my reservations about whether ‘The King’ would be able to connect with a modern audience, who is decidedly unresponsive to his misogynistic leanings of 20 years ago, but I found him thoroughly engaging. Vic Joseph ably led the team and Dio Maddin – although clearly nervous – showed promise. All around a good job.

Brock Lesnar

I’ve been the president of the Anti-Brock Movement for years, tired of seeing the giant brute do nothing but smirk and deliver German suplexes.

But even I have to admit that, at his best, the imposing Woodsman brings with him an aura like few others.

Raw started with Rey Mysterio coming down to the ring, presumably for his Universal Title match against Seth Rollins. He grabbed a mic and began to speak about how his son – who was sitting front row – had motivated him to continue his career.

Just then, Brock Lesnar came marching out. Without a word, he floored Rey with two F-5’s, while Dominick looked on from ringside… either stoically or blankly, depending on how forgiving you are of his acting abilities.

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It wasn’t long though before Brock locked eyes with the younger Mysterio, having just decimated his father. He mercilessly dragged him over the barricade, before driving Dominick into the ring post. Brock then threw him around the ring and delivered another F-5 to Rey, while Paul Heyman desperately called for Lesnar to stop. His barrage was unrelenting.

During the commercial break, Dominick was removed on a stretcher, while Rey tearfully apologised to his son for not protecting him.

It was unexpected. It was borderline uncomfortable to watch. And it was damn awesome!

The Authors of Pain

AOP delivered another excellent promo from their fortress of solitude, where they spoke about living by swords, lusting after violence and other lighthearted topics.

That’s great, but after three weeks of this, when are these lads going to re-debut? There’s always the danger that WWE could ‘Aleister Black’ this return.

The ‘One and Only’ Meets a (Fashionable) ‘Swiss Superman’

Cesaro and Ricochet put on a tremendous showing, where the main attraction was somehow the extremely fashionable three-quarter joggers Cesaro now uses as wrestling tights.

Sadly, the match only went three minutes before Ricochet won with an awesome springboard, summersault hurricanrana. It’s about as mad as it sounds. I just wish this match had been afforded more time.

Bray Scares His Puppets

Our now weekly dose of Firefly Funhouse revealed a cast of puppets quivering with fear. Rambling Rabbit even had a heart attack and died. He truly is the Kenny of this show.

They disclosed to Bray that they were scared of what would happen at Hell in a Cell, and Wyatt admitted so was he. He claimed that what would happen at Hell in a Cell would be a horror. Like living in a world without chocolate… only worse!

Wyatt said that the ‘Fiend’ wanted to hurt Seth Rollins. So much so that perhaps he’d never come back.

But then he waved gleefully and wished us a good night. So I’m sure everything’s just dandy!

Best in Show

By far the best match Raw had on offer was, unsurprisingly, the contest between Cedric Alexander and AJ Styles over the United States Championship. After successive quick losses to the Champion, I doubted whether Alexander could ever recapture the magic and establish himself as a legitimate contender.

Boy, was I wrong.

I don’t think either man took a breath for the entire duration of the match, as it went move, move, reversal, dive. Eventually, true to form, AJ Styles countered a Lumbar Check into a Styles Clash to retain his title.

So Alexander suffers his third loss to Styles. But unlike his past failures, this bout was designed to make him look incredible. For a welcome change, both men came away from the match looking better than they did going in.

Paul Heyman Points the Finger

In response to Brock’s heinous attacks on Rey and Dominick, Paul Heyman acknowledged that his client crossed the line. But, he said, the fault lay with Vince McMahon, who should’ve known better than to book the ‘Beast’ for a show when he was “in fight mode”.

The truth was that Brock was gearing up for his WWE Title match against Kofi Kingston this Friday, and there isn’t a man alive who can stop him when he’s in a fighting mood. So come this week’s SmackDown, Brock will wipe the floor with Kofi and become the new WWE Champion.

This was a great promo, as is so often the case with Heyman.


The Worst of Raw

‘The Man’ Distracts from The Match

I don’t understand the purpose of matches in which all of the attention is focused on what’s happening outside the ring. It just makes the people engaged in the match feel wholly unimportant.

That’s what happened when Sasha Banks took on Alexa Bliss. As soon as Becky Lynch came out to provide guest commentary on the contest, it was clear where all the attention would be directed.

After Banks tossed Bliss out of the ring, she taunted ‘The Man’. This caused Lynch to stand on the desk and begin yelling at her Hell in a Cell opponent, while Jerry Lawler helplessly pleaded for calm.

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Unfortunately, the match still went on for several uneventful minutes thereafter. So Becky just stood on the announce table, taping her hands, while the camera repeatedly cut between her and the action in the ring.

Eventually Sasha feigned calling for Bayley to help her. This made Alexa Bliss turn her back to ‘The Boss’ (like a bit of a goof), allowing Banks to kick her in the knee and then pin her. It was an over-stuffed, nonsense segment, with a frankly embarrassing finish. Honestly, who loses to a gentle kick to the side of the leg?

After the underwhelming match, Lynch got in a bit of scrap with Sasha, who heigh-tailed it out of harm’s way. The only positive was Becky’s dynamite line as Banks made her escape. In relation to their meeting inside Hell in a Cell, Becky said:

You made it personal. I’m going to make it painful.”

The Virtues of Seth Rollins

Seth Rollins gave a backstage interview in which he recounted his “disgust” at seeing what Brock Lesnar had done to Rey Mysterio and Dominick at the top of the show.

If he was that personally afflicted, he could’ve… I dunno… DONE SOMETHING? Seth was literally five seconds away from the scene of the crime. All he had to do was walk to the ring to intervene. He’s a terrible babyface.

A Disappointing Tag Title Defence

Am I late to the party in realising that Otis just looks like a less greasy Fat Bastard?

Either way, this was a surprisingly boring match considering the talent involved. Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode, working as heels, were prevented from doing anything too spectacular. And Heavy Machinery, for their part, didn’t bring a whole lot of excitement to proceedings either. At least, not until Otis started gyrating like a horny goblin again.

Compounding this lacklustre performance was the fact that Ziggler and Roode easily won soon after. This bout never really got going and certainly had no high points to speak of. And it’s a shame that Heavy Machinery would just lose so unceremoniously.

Hopefully brighter things lie in both teams’ futures.

Miz and his Team of Legends

Throughout the show’s early stages, Jerry Lawler kept repeating that this would be “the biggest episode of Miz TV ever!” Not exactly a high bar we’re setting ourselves.

But then Miz came out and immediately offered his best wishes to Rey Mysterio and Dominick. You were there, Miz! Mere feet away! You could’ve helped, if it meant that much to you! (This pointless drivel by the babyfaces was really starting to bother me by this point.)

Regardless, he soon lightened the mood by… introducing Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan. And Jimmy Hart was there for absolutely no reason. Oh God.

The two men stumbled through some increasingly heated promos, before deciding that they wanted to wrestle one another again. The Miz, for once being the sensible one, realised that this perhaps wasn’t the best idea given that their combined age is 136, and that their bones could easily turn to dust with the slightest bump.

So he instead announced that each legend would assemble a team comprising five wrestlers, to compete against one another in Saudi Arabia on October 31st. Seth Rollins and Randy Orton were then named captains of Team Hogan and Team Flair respectively. They scuffled for a bit, before Baron Corbin came out to assist Randy and Rusev emerged to even the odds. In the process presumably turning Rusev babyface again.

What an utterly boring segment, building to a pointless match with no stakes attached whatsoever.

And then, backstage, Rusev challenged Seth Rollins to a Universal Championship match. Because apparently that’s what you do after saving someone from a beatdown – you invite them to a match, so that you can beat them down yourself.

The O.C. Refuse to Join the Raid

Seven days after beating The O.C., The Viking Raiders did it again in a largely fine contest. But where does this leave both teams?

They seem to be doing nothing but spinning their wheels in a decidedly shallow division.

The Culmination of a Forever Feud

Lacey Evans and Natalya capped off their over-long feud with an over-long match. Perfect symmetry.

They grappled (adequately) for a little while, before Lacey Evans raked her opponent’s eyes and rolled her up for the win. Evans then clocked her with a Women’s Right for good measure. This moved Natalya to the same state I was in: asleep.

The women weren’t helped by their placement on the card, following the cracking Styles / Alexander match, but this was lacklustre by any standard. Hopefully we can quickly move on from this feud, but I fear there may yet be a pay-per-view encounter in store.

The Search for The Father Continues!

Maria Kanellis was interviewed backstage by Charley Caruso. She revealed that Rusev wasn’t the father of her baby.

Do people still care about this story?

Then Sasha Banks grabbed the microphone to declare that she would beat Becky Lynch at Hell in a Cell. Although I’ll always appreciate anything that makes the backstage area feel more interconnected and dynamic, this was only slightly more engaging than the ‘Maria’s baby daddy’ nonsense.

So We Found Out Where Lana’s Been

Seth Rollins and Rusev were in the midst of a fairly decent 10-minute match to close Raw. With Randy Orton and Baron Corbin awkwardly standing at the top of the ramp watching on.

But things were about to get a whole lot more awkward.

With Rusev in control of the match, Bobby Lashley made his return from a long absence. After he repeatedly beckoned towards the curtain (likely some sort of missed timing), none other than Lana came out.

She embraced Lashley before putting him in a tight lip-lock. Chris Jericho was the ‘Man of 1,004 Holds’ and I’m not sure he even mastered that one!

This was so devastating to Rusev that he was frozen in place while the lights began to shut off. But instead of attacking the ‘Bulgarian Brute’, when the lights came back on, they revealed that the ‘Fiend’ had Seth Rollins in the Mandible Claw at ringside. Seth’s pained gasps for air and the ‘Fiend’s eery laughter echoed around the arena as Raw went off the air.

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This might’ve been an effective close to the show, if not for the laughably bad Lana / Lashley reveal. The soap-opera feel of that goofy angle really undercut the dread presented by the ‘Fiend’. Also, and this can’t be understated, Rusev looks like an absolute fool here – just a week after his long-awaited return, he’s already ice cold.


Overall Rating for the Show (From best to worst: RawSome, Cor, AvRAWge, Poor and RawFul)

Like me at an all-you-can eat breakfast buffet, Raw simply can’t moderate itself. It has no self-control.

The red brand would be so much better served if it polished some of the mud off the wrestling diamond that we occasionally glimpse beneath. But they’re always tempted to overburden the show with every character, angle and surprise they can possibly fit into its three-hour runtime. For a while now, WWE has been living by the motto: “More is always more.

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So if Raw had been able to confine itself to Brock Lesnar’s savagery, Bray Wyatt’s sinister presence and the impressive wrestling, they would’ve been on solid footing. But instead, perhaps bolstered by the pressures of a self-imposed “season premiere”, Raw manufactured an un-engaging feud between Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair, furthered an awful storyline around Maria’s baby mystery, and brought back Lana as Bobby Lashley’s new sidepiece.

That last point in particular – because it closed the show, betrayed Lana’s character and completely undercut any momentum Rusev could’ve had – soured my view of Raw. Without it, the freshness of the “season premiere” might’ve been enough to carry the show to a good rating. But with it, it became impossible to consider the red brand as anything but underwhelming.

For that reason, Raw this week was a high AvRAWge.

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4 years ago by Nicholas Holicki

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