WWE SmackDown – May 29, 2020 (Review)

WWE SmackDown – May 29, 2020 (Review)

We join SmackDown at a time of transition for the blue brand. With the absence of some of its more prominent stars, such as Roman Reigns, Bray Wyatt and Sami Zayn, the success of Friday nights has been pinned on the likes of Braun Strowman and… well, we don’t even have an Intercontinental Champion at present.

But change appears to be on the horizon. The rumoured introductions of Matt Riddle and Dominik Dijakovic promise to infuse SmackDown with some much-needed fresh blood, complimenting the recent rises of the aforementioned Strowman and Otis. Add the acquisition of AJ Styles by way of trade last week – and I use the word “trade” rather liberally, as nothing was given in return for ‘The Phenomenal One’ – and Fridays suddenly appear more versatile. And hopefully a lot more exciting than they’ve been in months.

But the question becomes how best to utilise Riddle’s particular set of skills. As with many recent NXT call-ups, the hope is that perhaps he will be elevated directly into the main event frame. But that certainly wouldn’t fit the prevailing strategy with developmental talent. Ever since Finn Bálor, WWE seems to favour first testing the waters with new recruits, dispatching them to linger in the mid-card for a while before working upwards.

But if ever there was someone who could handle the immediate spotlight, it’s Matt Riddle. And if ever SmackDown needed an injection of fresh talent, it’s now. So hopefully he’ll hit his stride early. But there’s always the possibility of a lengthy feud with Baron Corbin or being placed in an anonymous tag team.

Elsewhere, the Intercontinental Title tournament reached the semi-final stage and New Day were set to appear on A Moment of Bliss. Let’s get to the review.


The Best of Smackdown

Two Former Champions Clash

Despite the lacklustre build (addressed below), the match between Alexa Bliss and Sasha Banks was typically enjoyable. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Alexa Bliss in singles action and this was a welcome treat.

It seems obvious, but SmackDown would be such an improved experience if it regularly featured two former multi-time Women’s Champions in the ring. Even the hyperactive Nikki Cross and bemused Bayley were welcome additions at the commentary desk. Although anything that reduced Michael Cole’s inane banter is encouraged.

Sasha – who incidentally looked awesome in three-quarter track pants and white sneakers – was in control early. Bliss simply couldn’t get a footing in the bout as Banks appeared to have an answer for everything.

But Alexa refused to give in and eventually gained some respite after clocking her opponent with a wicked right hand. She climbed to the top rope, presumably to hit the Twisted Bliss. But Bayley jumped onto the apron to interfere. Cross leapt in to counteract the SmackDown Women’s Champion, but the distraction allowed Banks to dislodge Alexa from the top rope. She then used some strange catapult into a pinning combination to secure the win. This was a fun encounter, which served to get Banks a long overdue victory.

Talent Overcomes Writing

Cesaro and Shorty G overcame their horrible backstage altercation to put on a great match. It’s amazing – yet not at all surprising – how often the SmackDown talent is able to outshine their garbage booking.

This was electric from the outset, as Gable attempted several pins before moving to secure the submission. But after weathering the initial flurry, Cesaro landed a massive clothesline and commenced the suplexes.

Gable occasionally mounted a comeback, the pace quickened, before Cesaro landed another big move to ground his persistent opponent. After landing one massive powerbomb earlier in the contest, Cesaro went for another. However, Gable was able to roll through and flip the Swiss over for a quick pin.

This was a fantastically paced encounter, which didn’t lag for a single second. Plus it’s always exciting seeing Gable pick up a victory, as we hold out everlasting hope that he may one day get the push he merits.

Mandy Has A Hot Dream

Otis was sitting poolside with Mandy Rose, enjoying some peach champagne with his peach. I don’t know why everything Otis says and does makes me chuckle – he’s just so loveably ridiculous. Before long, Mandy was in the mood for a nap while Otis went for a swim. This triggered a sexy dream sequence, as she got a bit hot under the collar while fantasising about Otis’s sexy body. Haven’t we all been there…

She was however rudely awakened by Otis’s cannonball, which created a wave big enough to almost drown her in her lounger. Because Otis is a little hefty, you see. But Mandy was still feeling randy, so she joined her man-bear in the pool and the pair shared a kiss. And then Mandy did an Otis grunt.

This was totally ludicrous and didn’t really advance anything. But it was nevertheless enjoyable. Otis and Mandy are just fun to watch and have decent chemistry together.


The Worst of SmackDown

Your Pain is WWE’s Gain

SmackDown kicked things off with a cold open, shocking us awake with a possible vehicular assault.  Elias was run over and Jeff Hardy was found nearby, seemingly intoxicated. The rental car involved was registered in his name and so the assumption was made that he was the driver. The cops arrived to arrest him as he incoherently slurred his words in protest. The ambiguity of the situation (and the fact that it’s pro wrestling) probably indicates this was a setup.

After the break, we cut backstage to find the locker room being informed of Hardy’s arrest. Sheamus made a suspiciously big deal of saying his relapse was inevitable. With both Elias and Jeff Hardy unable to compete, there was a lot of argument about who Daniel Bryan and AJ Styles should face (if anyone). There was chatter about triple threats, byes and the return of previously eliminated competitors. This is exactly what we want to see – a crowd of 20 wrestlers arguing about tournament logistics for 10 minutes. It was awful.

Eventually it was decided that AJ Styles would be granted a bye (what a heel), while Daniel Bryan would face the winner of a battle royal (what a babyface).

Aside from the boring backstage discussion, I’m so sick of WWE exploiting wrestlers’ personal issues for financial gain. We’ve previously seen the death of Jim Neidhart turned into pantomime theatre as his likeness was plastered across a table during the Natalya / Ruby Riott feud. Long before that, Jim Ross was the frequent target of ridicule for his Bell’s palsy. Mickie James spent a significant portion of the 2000s being called “piggy” because Vince McMahon thought she wasn’t quite as thin as the rest of the women’s locker room. And Paige once took a shot at Charlotte over the tragic death of Reid Flair.

It’s gross, it’s vile and it typifies the behaviour of an unsympathetic corporate colossus that cares more about profits than the wellbeing of its workforce. This was sickening.

The Battle Royal

The battle royal designed to find Bryan’s opponent for the night was wholly uninspired. All of the men previously eliminated from the Intercontinental Title tournament were joined by some other faces to battle it out. Baron Corbin started strong by eliminating a bunch of also-rans (including Drew Gulak), only to himself take a trip over the top rope after getting superkicked by Jey Uso.

This left Uso, Shorty G, Cesaro, Nakamura and Sheamus in the running, with the Irishman the clear favourite. The match entered a painfully boring phase, as Wrestler A tried to leverage Wrestler B over the top rope, only for Wrestler B to dangle precariously before rolling back under the rope. Rinse, repeat.

Gable manoeuvred Cesaro and Nakamura over the top, before immediately being eliminated by Sheamus. Jey Uso looked to have won after clotheslining Sheamus over the rope, but the Irishman held on. He then dragged Jey onto the apron, they battled for a bit and then Sheamus dropped Uso to the floor.

The outcome was disappointingly obvious as soon as Baron Corbin was eliminated. Which isn’t a bad thing if the action can counterbalance the foregone conclusion. In this case it didn’t though. And the promise of Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus later in the night did little to tantalise.

Pointless Feuds and Promos

Sonya Deville was backstage delivering a promo in anticipation of her upcoming match against Lacey Evans. Somehow she failed to notice Lacey standing behind her though. Evans politely waited for Sonya to finish, then pushed her over and called her “nasty”.

Michael Cole informed us that this match was booked as a result of some or other Twitter spat. Apparently the two women had a back-and-forth over the benefits of being blonde. Urgh… WHO CARES ABOUT THIS?

Similarly, Shorty G got into a row with Cesaro backstage following their clash in the battle royal. Big Swiss didn’t think someone like Gable could be Intercontinental Champion. Does he mean Olympic level wrestlers? Or just people who are 5’8”? Likely the latter, which is still as stupid a reason for a feud as it was when Big Cass was making fun of Daniel Bryan’s height.

The Forgotten Sons spoke about returning from serving overseas to a country that had turned their back on them. Or something like that, it’s hard to pay attention to their emotionless drone.

The Battle of the Blonde

Lacey Evans and Sonya Deville were in the midst of a plain, rather unspectacular match. The contest was done no favours by the ridiculous premise either. Every break in the action was filled with Lacey Evans yelling at Sonya that blonde’s were people too and the colour of her hair wasn’t the reason for her success.

After ten bland minutes, the match ended by double count-out. Evans was keen to continue the bout, but Sonya grabbed a headset to announce that she’ll fight on her terms. So she marched up the ramp to the sound of Evans’ music – because every segment needs to end with a wrestler’s theme.

The last thing Deville needed was to have her hot streak interrupted by a goofy count-out draw. Honestly, does this result protect Evans’ any more than if Deville had just won through devious means? Instead it’s just another match that will be forgotten by the morning, not benefitting anyone.

Talk Show Animosity

I will say this until my dying day. As I take my last breath in this world and exhale for the final time, I’ll harness whatever remains of my energies to say the following…

I hate wrestling talk shows.

They always follow the same template. A silly opening monologue, the guest(s) are introduced, someone interrupts and a brawl and/or match ensues. This week it was the turn of New Day to be invited to the set of A Moment of Bliss. As much as I love all four people involved, I don’t need to watch Big E crush coffee beans into a mug while making a joke about how funny the nation of Djibouti sounds.

Guess what? Bayley and Sasha Banks interrupted. Alexa Bliss took some jabs at Bayley for being longwinded and Sasha for being the only one in the ring without a belt. All of the babyfaces in attendance hollered like it was a PG version of Wild ‘N Out, but without the powerful conclusion. Mildly Hurtful ‘N Still Around.

This animosity led to a match between Alexa Bliss and Sasha Banks. This might as well have been built on Twitter considering the lack of intrigue.

Debut Without the Effort

Kurt Angle was used to introduce Matt Riddle. Well, first he put over SmackDown and the greatest wrestling match ever between Edge and Randy Orton at Backlash. But then he got to Matt Riddle.

As this had been prerecorded, all that was presented was a video package. Which is fair enough, provided they present the competitor as a legitimate star.

Instead this focused on Riddle’s fun-loving nature and the fact that he wrestles without shoes. It’s almost as if the person tasked with preparing the package had never seen Riddle before and asked someone to describe Riddle to him in three words or less. And that person had only seen Riddle’s ring walk and so chose the words “silly”, “high” and “shoeless”.

Needless to say, I didn’t like this because it foreshadowed what aspects of Riddle’s character the main roster would focus on. And very little of it was his uncanny in-ring ability, merging strength, athleticism and legitimate MMA background.

SmackDown Comes to Pay-Per-View

A video package and graphic alerted us to the dire fact that Braun Strowman will be defending his Universal Title against Miz and John Morrison, in a handicap match at Backlash. I have no desire to  see a midlevel SmackDown match on pay-per-view.

Shocking Main Event Return

The main event between Sheamus and Daniel Bryan took on a predictable formula. Despite having competed in a battle royal earlier in the night, Sheamus used his brawn to systematically smother his smaller opponent. Occasionally the Irishman would pause to berate the former WWE Champion to ring out more heat.

Sheamus looked primed to end proceedings with the Brogue Kick, but Jeff Hardy came hobbling down the ramp. This distracted Sheamus long enough for Bryan to regain his feet and strike with the running knee to win. He’ll face AJ Styles in the Intercontinental Tournament final next week.

There was no explanation for how Jeff Hardy was released from custody so soon after his arrest, nor how he managed to return to arena considering his level of intoxication. Sadly these kinds of loose ends have become typical of SmackDown of late, as have the distraction finishes.


Overall Rating for the Show (From best to worst: Smacknificent, SmackTastic, Smack Bang in the Middle, SmackDowner and A Smack in the Face)

It’s hard for me to overlook WWE’s use of Jeff Hardy’s darkest vices to promote its storylines. It’s simply repulsive that SmackDown would look to monetise Hardy’s personal struggles in such an unscrupulous fashion. But should we be surprised, given the company’s previous gleeful embrace of death as a narrative centrepiece?

So, the first half hour left me with the kind of revolting taste in my mouth that’s hard to wash out. And the tedious battle royal, endless stream of awful promos and uninspiring pay-per-view announcements did little to cleanse the pallet.

Mercifully, the match quality was at a generally high level, as the blue brand’s array of talented stars outperformed the awful booking. But by the time Matt Riddle’s lacklustre introductory video package was shown, I was ready to call it quits for another week. This edition of SmackDown was a low SmackDowner.

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4 years ago by Nicholas Holicki

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