Kevin Owens and Braun Strowman in a steel cage! Why Seth Rollins is WWE’s real Big Dawg! And Drew McIntyre did not have sexual relations with that sheep.
Roman Reigns & Bobby Lashley Brawl
Raw opened on Roman Reigns walking into Bobby Lashley backstage – a feud so hot that the crowd chanted for the Boston Celtics logo on the wall behind them . Kurt Angle told them to save it for their match at Extreme Rules, but he was too late – because it’s time for WWE’s patented Big Pull Apart Brawl For The Go-Home Angle Because We’ve Run Out Of Ideas.
All of the currently uninjured members of Raw’s roster ran down – so about five people – to break the two apart. Even though I’m not into this feud, and the pull apart brawl has been overdone in the last year, this was exciting stuff – with Reigns hitting a spectacular dive to take out everyo-A wild Mike Kanellis appears!
Nia Jax & Natalya beat Alexa Bliss & Mickie James
Ahead of their women’s title match this Sunday, Alexa Bliss and Nia Jax faced off in a tag match… that was mostly just The Miz explaining what Extreme Rules is. Despite being attacked by Bliss with a kendo stick after pinning Mickie James, Nia looked awesome fighting back and snapping the stick across her knee.
Kevin Owens & Braun Strowman In A STEEL CAGE!
After being pushed off the stage in a porta-potty last week, revealing Kevin Owens actually poops the colour blue, KO found sanctuary in Kurt Angle’s office away from his tormentor Braun Strowman. Angle eventually put him and Strowman inside a Steel Cage for Extreme Rules – a stipulation that actually makes sense considering Owens keeps trying to run away.
Mojo Rawley beat No Way Jose
An intense Mojo Rawley beat No Way Jose with a big Alabama Slam.
Sasha Banks & Bayley Going Nowhere, Again
After their way too long non-feud climaxed in counselling sessions last week, Sasha Banks and Bayley were barely featured on this episode. At this rate, even Emmalina could redebut before they actually pay off this storyline.
Drew McIntyre Challenges Seth Rollins
After leaving Jinder Mahal meditating by himself – who was SmackDown’s top champion this time last year remember – Seth Rollins hyped his 30 minute ironman match against Dolph Ziggler in front of the live crowd. This brought out Drew McIntyre and Ziggler – who botched his promo by saying the word ‘schlam’ (Schlam! Schlam! Schlam!) – for Seth to then accuse suggest Dolph of having some sheep sex photos of Drew. Oooh hypocrite. I wouldn’t joke about inappropriate photos, if I were you Seth.
An infuriated McIntyre challenged Seth to a match tonight, which Kurt later decreed if Drew lost, he’d be banned from ringside at Extreme Rules.
Bo Dallas beat Matt Hardy
Bo Dallas beat Matt Hardy in this very repetitive feud. Weirdly the Deleters of Worlds did their ‘bleugh’ thing in the post-match scuffle, only to unimpressively appear several feet to the left.
Ember Moon beat Liv Morgan
After Tyler Breeze invited Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan to Raw’s uninjured tag partners support group, Ember Moon beat Liv in a rematch from the previous week.
Baron Corbin & Elias beat Finn Balor & Bobby Roode
Elias revealed he’s been away recently to record his debut album, which is not a bad idea. Imagine all your favourite Elias hits in one place! Like ‘Your Local Sports Team Sucks’, ‘Your Hometown Is Horrible’ and ‘All The People In This Arena Smell So Bad I Can’t Wait To Leave’.
Tall Baron Corbin sung a brilliantly awful rendition of Itsy Bitsy Spider for short Finn Balor afterwards – presumably because WWE have a backlog of pre-written Big Cass promos they didn’t want to waste – and then beat Bobby Roode in the ensuing rather fun tag match.
Drew McIntyre beat Seth Rollins
The match of the night by a long, long way though was Drew vs Seth – a terrifically told big man vs not-as-big-man bout. McIntyre’s confidence is believably threatening, countering Seth’s offence with some awesome power moves and Rollins’ babyface comeback brilliantly connecting with the crowd. The finishing sequence, as always seems to be the way with Seth’s matches, was frantic and superb – hitting a wicked Curb Stomp on Dolph, to then be destroyed by Drew’s Claymore for the loss.
If you were watching Raw for the first time in years, unfamiliar with the roster, who would you think is it’s top star going by this episode? Is it Reigns with the mixed reactions? Braun with the goofy comedy?
Neither – it’s Rollins. The guy who got a promo segment and the main event, the guy who had the entire crowd behind him. WWE has something special in Seth at the moment. If only they pushed him as Raw’s top babyface over the lesser Dawg.
Overall, this was a pretty lame episode for a go-home edition, but the main event was very good. This week’s Raw is Poor.
What did you think of Raw? Let us know! Comment below!