Did Roman Reigns just turn heel with a badass Shield reunion? Triple H returns to advertise a match two months away! And Kurt Angle is kind of fired for a bit!
Roman Reigns, Fighting Champion
The new Universal Champion Roman Reigns opened the show with a huge smile – that’s Finn Balor’s gimmick – and the entire crowd booing him and chanting ‘You Suck’. Which is more like i-
Hey, commentators, you’re in the wrong place?! It’s almost like it’s to set up a table spot later in the show…
We quickly found out why Balor was booked so strongly at SummerSlam the night before. So he can lose to Roman! The Generous, Fighting Champion Reigns called out Balor as his first title defence for the night’s main event.
Still feeling cheated from his SummerSlam loss, Baron Corbin demanded a rematch, though…
Bobby Lashley beat Baron Corbin
But he lost to Bobby Lashley in boring 10 minute match instead, courtesy of Kurt Angle.
Kurt Angle & Paul Heyman
And channeling his inner New Yorker, Kurt then told Paul Heyman to ‘forget about’ Brock Lesnar getting his contractually obligated rematch anytime soon.
Riott Squad beat Sasha Banks, Bayley & Ember Moon
With SummerSlam finally over (it is over right?), it’s time to start a new chapter in WWE. New feuds, new storylines, a few roster shake-ups perhaps. Which began with Ember Moon, Sasha Banks and Bayley taking on… OH MY GOD IT’S THE RIOTT SQUAD AGAIN.
This was a good match, they always are. But I’m tired of them and I want it to stop.
Triple H Promotes Undertaker Match
Triple H came out in full babyface mode next, saying that he’s not going to wrestle the Undertaker because it truly was an End of an Era match at WrestleMania 28. Which is why… he will wrestle the Undertaker at Super Show-Down. What?
Dean Ambrose beat Dolph Ziggler
In the first genuinely good bit of Raw, we got the in-ring return of the Lunatic Without A Fringe Dean Ambrose. Fascinatingly, he’s really changed the way he wrestles, adopting a more physical style as opposed to his goofy Ambrose character of before. And for someone who relied so much on promos and quips, much of that difference is because Dean hasn’t uttered a word on or off mic since coming back.
The action eventually broke down outside with Seth Rollins taking out Drew McIntyre, allowing Dean to hit Dirty Deeds for the win.
Elias beat Curt Hawkins
Move aside, who threw the pie at Kevin Owens? Solved you, who really is Byron Saxton. There’s a new WWE mystery in town: Who broke the neck on Elias’ guitar?
The chief suspect right now is Curt Hawkins, who came out determined to end his 218 match losing streak. The crowd really got behind him, but Elias won quickly.
Authors of Pain beat Titus Worldwide
So this feud is still going on. After teasing Apollo and Dana Brooke splitting from Titus O’Neil backstage, the Authors of Pain beat Worldwide in a tag match.
Ronda Rousey Women’s Title Celebration
All the Raw women were standing round the ring  for the night’s weirdest and worst segment, which saw Stephanie McMahon heeling it up again, pretending Ronda Rousey is her protege and it’s really Stephanie to thank for making Ronda successful. YOU CAN’T HAVE THIS AND DO THE EVOLUTION STUFF AT THE SAME TIME!
Also, the Bellas Twins still need a ride home after SummerSlam.
Ronda came out, cut an awkward promo about Natalya being the cornerstone of the women’s division, yadda yadda yadda, and then put Stephanie in an arm bar. The faces celebrated with Rousey while the heels helped McMahon. WWE have done a great job with Ronda, but in so doing, have systematically dismantled the entire Raw women’s division into a simplistic, outdated 80s wrestling cartoon. It’s quite easily the worst part of every Mond-
Scott Dawson beat Bo Dallas, Dash Wilder beat Curtis Axel
Oh no, wait, that’s the tag division.
Scott Dawson beat Bo Dallas and then Dash Wilder beat Curtis Axel. If there was ever a time to shake-up the Raw teams, it was tonight.
Kurt Angle Fired
Recovering from the arm bar backstage, Stephanie then forced Kurt to go on vacation for a while, replacing him with Baron Corbin as GM. Which, at this point, is a babyface move because Angle is terrible at his job.
Roman Reigns beat Finn Balor
Despite Balor finally getting the rematch for the Universal title he never lost, and Braun Strowman warning him he’ll cash-in his briefcase on the winner, Finn didn’t come out as the Demon.
Hey, this match is important, but it’s not Baron Corbin at SummerSlam important.
What are the rules? What are the rules?
Balor and Reigns put on a great main event, though, with the crowd almost as into Finn as they were the fan distracting everyone off camera. Good to his promise, Strowman’s music hit shortly before Reigns speared Finn for the win, setting up the Braun cash-in. But Reigns had a plan of his own: Rollins and Ambrose coming down in full Shield reunion cosplay. Where’s Kurt Angle?
The crowd were still very behind Braun, though, cheering Strowman as he fought off Reigns, and chanting bulls-word when the Shield put him through the announcer’s desk. So that’s what they were there for!
The majority of this Raw sucked pretty hard, but the Shield stuff was inspired. So, kind of like 2013 all over again.
But it is very exciting going forward. The Shield now have the Universal and Intercontinental titles hostage. It changes the dynamic for other feuds on Raw. Think of all the six man tag! They might not be full heels, but hopefully that new chapter of WWE is actually The Shield dominating as badass tweeners. And just for that wild optimism, this week’s Raw is Poor.