Buckle up and put your crash harnesses on, because tonight’s SmackDown Live is going to be… dull.
Or at least, if we’re judging by what has been confirmed for the show so far it will be.
There be a “Women’s summit”, whatever the hell that is – probably the women standing in a row in the ring next to plinths while they shout scripted things at each other.
Becky: “I’m gonna kick yer ass because I’m the lass-kicker.”
Charlotte: “Something about being a queen.”
Naomi: “I glow.”
Lana: “Lana is the best, Lana number one.”
Or at least something like that. Would be a real shocker if it turns into a fatal four-way or a tag match of some kind.
The women’s fatal four-way on Raw was pretty damn good actually. It actually went longer than five minutes which gave them a lot more time to show that they can actually wrestle.
Although it would be lazy booking if it’s given the same amount of time as the Raw match, this is also a bout that could be good… until Lana tries an elbow drop.
Also advertised for the show is a match between Daniel Bryan and Shelton Benjamin, you know, to carry on that well-known feud.
It’s just an excuse for Big Cass to interrupt a Bryan match to cost him the victory, isn’t it? Wonderful, another feud everyone is enjoying a lot.
I for one am looking forward to Money in the Bank for a few reasons.
Not only do we have the two ladder matches which are always good fun, but it will also hopefully see the end of some feuds; such as Bryan vs. Cass and Jinder vs. Roman.
Unfortunately, arenas hosting WWE in the coming months are still advertising Cass vs. Bryan. Now that could be a sign that Cass will win on Sunday and thereby throw us all into purgatory while we wait for this all to end.
Lastly, and possibly most excitingly, we’re going to see Jeff Hardy vs. Shinsuke Nakamura, because they can’t think of anyone for Jeff to feud with for his US Title…*cough* Almas *cough*.
The unfortunate thing here is that Jeff has to lose. You can’t have Nakamura going into his 112th title match with AJ Styles on Sunday on the back of a loss to the mid-card champion after all.
But anyway, looking at the positives again – it’s likely to be the best match on the show, and could save what looks to be a pretty boring event.
- Tune in for the weekly “What happened to SAnitY” session.
- The Bludgeon Brothers will say something in a red room after being called nerds.
- Big Cass will say that he is tall while forgetting all the people who are shorter than him that have beaten him.
- Samoa Joe will cut a lovely promo, and the Miz will do something wonderful.
- Carmella will say she is money and Asuka will shout something.