A big title change! Brie Bella is still hanging around after SummerSlam. And they’re actually going for Becky Lynch as a heel.
Miz & Maryse vs Daniel Bryan & Brie Bella Booked
Miz opened the show with a wickedly heelish promo – announcing through crocodile tears that he’s retiring…from ever facing Daniel Bryan again. It was one of those swerves that everyone saw coming, but was still a dick move. Grr, Miz.
This brought out Bryan to continue their feud after Miz cheated at SummerSlam, calling him a wannabe Hollywood star cosplaying as a wrestler. Great line, Bryan, but move aside because an actual star’s here now. It’s time to enter slow motion for the first time in ages with ‘BRRIIIIE MODE’.
Seriously, someone needs to give the Bellas a lift home now.
Brie defended her husband’s honor by punching Miz in the face as Maryse bailed from the ring – still neatly building their feud around the punch – for Bryan to announce it’ll be a mixed tag match between them all at Hell in a Cell. That didn’t pan out so well the last time that happened, Bryan.
So WWE’s booking mentality right now is have all the faces as heels, the heels as babyfaces, and everything left over gets a Bella twin. Bella for you, Bella for you, Bella for everybody!
This was all very exciting, but I’ve got no interest in seeing Brie or Maryse wrestling in this feud. Bryan’s big return from retirement has seen a limp WrestleMania match, a Big Cass feud, and now a mixed tag match, when he should be the face of SmackDown.
Randy Orton beat Jeff Hardy (DQ)
Randy Orton went for Jeff Hardy’s ear in their following match, causing Jeff to snap and getting DQ’d when he stomped on Orton’s penis. That’ll teach you for shaking my hand before the match, Randy. Allegedly.
The two brawled around the ring afterwards, but because Jeff is currently working injured, he wrestled a safer style by DOING A SWANTON BOMB THROUGH A TABLE! OH COME ON JEFF.
Peyton Royce beat Naomi
In a match most likely booked so Corey Graves could make fun of Dave Meltzer, Peyton Royce beat Naomi after a few distraction spots from Billie Kay. Given the last few days, I’m surprised the Bellas weren’t at ringside.
Becky Lynch Promo
Becky Lynch came out to reveal she attacked her best friend Charlotte after losing at SummerSlam because Becky should be the champion – yay, she’s a badass babyfa-. And because all you fans gave up on her. Ah, dammit, WWE thinks she’s a heel.
Yep, they’re portraying Becky – someone the crowd organically want to cheer – as a villain, and Charlotte – someone the crowd organically want to boo – as a face. Whatever Triple H says in interviews, WWE don’t listen to their fans.
Even with Charlotte’s fiery charge down to the ring, the crowd still booed her heavily. Paige sent the entire women’s division down to pull them apart, which depressingly included a rare Asuka sighting. I’m surprised the Bellas weren’t at ringside.
Rusev & Lana beat Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas & Zelina Vega
Just to get over how pointless the SummerSlam pre-show was, we got Rusev & Lana vs Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas and Zelina Vega again! This was a far more interesting encounter, though, with Aiden English finally getting it right and stopping Almas from using a chair – helping Rusev Day pick up the win. I’m surprised the Bellas weren’t at ringside, though.
Renee Young interviewed AJ Styles at the top of the entrance ramp next, where the WWE Champion promised the next time Samoa Joe mentions his wife Wendy’s name, he’s going to rip his heart out. Which was Joe’s cue to choke Styles with a Coquina Clutch and then scream into the camera: OOOOOOOHHHH WENDY! Daddy’s not coming home. This has become my favourite feud in WWE. I love it, love it, love it. And not a Bella in sight. For now.
New Day beat Bludgeon Brothers
Capping off a very entertaining show, the New Day left Big E behind (he was still selling his rib injuries from Sunday night) to become your five time WWE Tag Team Champions in a fun main event.
Possibly due to Rowan’s reported bicep tear at SummerSlam – in which case, serious street cred for wrestling a chaotic No DQ match while injured – the Bludgeon Brothers dropped the title after 10 minutes of frantic brawling. I’m surprised the Bellas weren’t at ringside.
While parts of the show were frustrating – Bryan in a mixed tag feud, Becky as a heel – this show moved at a wicked pace and was always very entertaining. Also OOOOOOOH WENDY! This week’s SmackDown is SmackTastic.