There are few things in this life as exciting as seeing somebody not only compete in an Elimination Chamber match for a chance at a championship, but to see that championship actively defended in that same match.
This year WWE is spoiling us, as we get to see some of the best that the company has to offer scramble to dethrone the number one wrestling f-boy Austin Theory from atop the US Title scene.
Will they do it? Can any man possibly topple a specimen as finely-honed as Theory when gold is on the line?
Haha yeah, probably. It’s going to be fun as hell to watch, too.
Here’s each person’s chance of winning the men’s Elimination Chamber, ranked from lowest to highest:
Damian Priest
This was a pretty hard list to write, because there’s no obvious meat in the room when it comes to this match (as compared to some other years, which have been jobber central).
Priest would actually be a great pick to win the title here, but in a stacked match he has a few things working against him.
The big one is that, as part of Judgement Day, it would be weird to give him a title six weeks out of Rhea getting her time in the spotlight.
As entertaining as they are, that group doesn’t strike me as a “hold all the gold” faction (they’re more of a “bumming cigarettes from sketchy adults outside their highschool” faction).
He’s also held the title before, which isn’t necessarily a disqualifying factor (more on that later), but is kind of a boring choice in a group with so many new possible faces.
Sorry Priest; please don’t get Dom and his prison buddies to beat me up.
Austin Theory
I really can’t see the champ retaining here for a couple of reasons, paramount among them being the fact that we probably aren’t going to see another title change hands on this show (unless Triple H got my letters; we’re rooting for you Sami).
There are so many great contenders in this bout that keeping the title exactly where it is just feels a little boring; especially following a Royal Rumble that was, while great, a little predictable.
Also, if the rumors are true about Theory taking on Cena at WrestleMania, removing the title from the picture makes things a little cleaner, and somewhat less predictable.
Sorry Theory; you’re still great, but maybe you should have cashed your briefcase in on Roman after all.
Johnny Gargano
Okay, now we’re getting into weird territory.
Honestly, if Gargano wasn’t currently in a comedy storyline with his wife and serial killer-in-law I’d be putting Gargano much higher on this list.
A midcard title win like this would be a great way for Papa H to legitimize Johnny Wrestling, and start his ascension to the top of the card so H could fulfill his dream of having DIY main event ‘Mania 40.
But as things currently stand, I just don’t see a world in which Gargano overcomes these odds just yet.
A US or Intercontinental win is definitely in his future, but he’s going to take some time to get there.
Seth Rolllins
Seth was actually at the top of this list when I started writing, but I’ve bumped him down a few notches; partly out of cold, calculating logic, but mostly just out of hope.
I love Rollins, and under different circumstances would love to see him pick up the win here.
But he JUST had the title. Theory literally cashed in on him to win. He’s been in this title scene for a while now, and with so much new blood in the match you really want to see somebody fresh take home the gold (man, don’t use “fresh” like that).
Besides, if he does win there’s a good chance that he’ll be facing Logan Paul at ‘Mania, and there’s an even better chance that Logan is winning that match.
So in many ways, this is a referendum on whether or not Logan Paul is going to win the US Championship, and it’s my solemn responsibility not to put that energy out into the world.
Bronson Reed
Bronson Reed has two things going in his favor, and neither of them is the fact that he’s a big strong boy who scares me:
First, he’s somebody I could see WWE wanting to keep as strong as possible for as long as possible. The dude hasn’t been pinned yet, and it feels like they might want to keep it that way for at least a little while.
Second, I mean, he beat Okada. He had a pretty cushy thing going for himself in Japan. Surely they said SOMETHING to bring him back to the place that unceremoniously fired him (and I bet it wasn’t “you can beat Akira Tozawa as many times as you want”).
I don’t know that he’d be a great pick for US Champion, but I also think it would be super weird to make him eat a pin this early, which gets him this seemingly-way-too-high spot on our list.
Montez Ford
I’m aware this might seem like kind of a bizarre choice for the number one spot, but hear me out: I really want him to win.
Honestly, when you put these lists together you have to weigh the pros up against the cons.
Things working in favor of a Montez Ford win are as follows: a Montez Ford singles run is something the fans have wanted for a while, and this would be the perfect vehicle for that; we haven’t had a really unexpected win in a match like this for a while; the feel-good nature of this win will help counteract the rage we’ll feel after Zayn loses and potentially prevent a riot; he put in a good showing against Roman Reigns last year; there’s a built-in story between him and Angelo Dawkins as Ford not only qualified for the Chamber when Dawkins didn’t, but ultimately goes on to win the whole thing; WWE loves splitting tag teams up; Montez Ford is an incredible, charismatic athlete and one half of a power couple with Bianca Belair.
Things working against a Montez Ford win are as follows: shut up.
Besides, if he wins here there’s a good chance that means we’ll get to see him defend it at ‘Mania, and if he defends it at ‘Mania, there’s a good chance that he’ll do a frog splash so high that he’ll knock out the next Chinese spy balloon (there’s a reference that’ll age well).
I do so much for you people; just let me have this one.
Think you’re a wrestling mastermind? Well you can prove it by taking quizzes in our brand new quiz section! Don’t forget to tweet us your results!
Comments.
Loading comments…