Nia Jax has become one of the most criticised figures in WWE, with a reckless in-ring style that has caused injuries to Kairi Sane, Becky Lynch and Bayley. Just two weeks ago, she was in the news for a dangerous chokeslam bomb on Dana Brooke.
People have called for her to be disciplined, to go back to the Performance Center. Even for WWE to fire her before she causes truly serious harm. But last night, Jax won everyone back on side by screaming about her butthole.
In the payoff to the Jax vs Lana tables storyline that started in September last year, the two had an unannounced tables match on Raw with zero promotion.
Towards the end of the match, Nia Jax missed a legdrop on the apron and proceeded to comically yell “ow my hole” as loud as she could. It brings a whole new meaning to ‘the hardest part of the ring’.
Lana then pushed Jax through a propped up table on the barricade, winning the match. But Twitter was far more interested in Nia’s hole, so much so that she became a trending topic, with Mick Foley tweeting that he expects “my hole” to become the new “Austin 3:16”.
Bryan Alvarez tweeted in concern:
They just reported that Nia Jax has been helped to the back to receive medical treatment, I hope she does not have a hole in her hole
— Bryan Alvarez (@bryanalvarez) February 9, 2021
And Mickie James asked:
— Mickie James~Aldis (@MickieJames) February 9, 2021
Which she then clarified meant a butt donut seat for people with hemorrhoids. This is my job.
But despite it being one of the most talked about things on Twitter, and one of the most watched clips on WWE’s YouTube channel, anyone going to the latter will be disappointed, as WWE have censored out Nia’s ‘my hole’ line – indicating they weren’t happy with Jax’s improvising. As usually they include the finish of the match in full, only editing bits out if there’s a botch.
Maybe in a few months time though, we’ll have something far more crude: a performance of WAP at WrestleMania.
WWE Want Cardi B
Following the report that Bad Bunny is set to team with Damien Priest to take on Miz and John Morrison at WrestleMania, WWE’s Nick KHAAAAAN has told Forbes that they’re also interested in bringing in Cardi B for some upcoming shows, particularly because they can get people like Bad Bunny for a long period of time while music acts aren’t touring.
Cardi B was name dropped last month on the Legends Night episode of Raw – which led to her tweeting out that she used to be a fan of wrestling – and then got into a Twitter argument with Lacey Evans who was responding to her in character.
Zelina Vega Update
It’s unlikely we’ll see a Zelina Vega return in WWE though, who was controversially fired from the company after refusing to stop streaming on Twitch.
Vega’s 90 day non-compete clause comes to an end this Thursday, which means she could show up in AEW, Impact, or anywhere else that is currently putting on shows very soon.
However according to Sean Ross Sapp over on Fightful Select, no one has shown an interest in signing her. They do note, though, that is normal as companies won’t want to “tip their hand” and reveal who they do and do not want to sign.
Where would you like to see Zelina Vega end up? Let me know in the comments because I’ll be replying FROM OUTTA NIA JAX’S HOLE.
And now it’s time for my Raw review… in about 5 minutes.
WWE Raw Review
With the Elimination Chamber go-home show just next week, we got WWE’s new monthly Raw special: the oh crap we haven’t got anything booked for the next pay-per-view episode!
Still better than Legends Night.
A video package opened the episode recapping Drew McIntyre and Sheamus’ 6 month onscreen WWE friendship like it was 20 years long – WWE’s video editing department are genuinely second best in the world at rewriting its own history. Russia’s first
And then the main show started with Definitely Not Raw General Manager Adam Pearce welcoming down a returning Definitely Not Raw Underground General Manager Shane McMahon – who was their purely to announce Drew will defend his WWE Championship in an Elimination Chamber match against Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles, Sheamus, and The Miz.
Shane then weirdly condescended both Pearce and McIntyre, worryingly teasing he’ll be back for some kind of McMahon storyline for WrestleMania.
But that’s bad booking for the future. What about the bad booking right now?
The idea of just announcing everyone for the Chamber in lieu of qualifying matches was rushed and lazy. If they just planned slightly more ahead, they could’ve started qualifiers last week. Matches could’ve had stakes. Wrestlers could’ve genuinely reset their momentum on the Road to WrestleMania, instead of the announcers just repeating the word ‘momentum’ ad nauseum throughout the night.
The first was AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy having a decent match – repping 2010 TNA – where AJ worked over Hardy’s ankle and tapped him out in the Calf Crusher. Momentum.
Following Xavier Woods quickly beating Retribution’s leader Mustafa Ali last week, the New Day beat the Retribution tag line-up of Slapjack and T-Bar here. This feud has lost all momentum, no matter how good Ali’s promos are on Raw Talk.
Ric Flair cut his reddest promo all year, announcing he’s managing Lacey Evans now, not sleeping with her, and they’re going for Asuka’s title.
This set up a No. 1 contenders match of sorts, with Lacey just casually dropping the idea of a rankings system in WWE, which Charlotte lost because she beat up Lacey too much.
Meaning Evans won, despite her getting beaten up by Charlotte loads, making it Lacey vs Asuka for the title at Elimination Chamber. Because ‘momentum’, guys. It’s all about momentum. Hurtling straight into the centre of the Earth.
He’s appeared on Raw, he’s appeared on NXT, he’s appeared on SmackDown. He occasionally appears on lead guitar for U2. He’s the Omni-Edge.
It was to decide which champion he’s face at WrestleMania. And because of the Chamber announcement, he still hasn’t decided. Miz came out with John Morrison and Angel Garza – oh, Garza’s with them now, by the way – to say it doesn’t matter what Edge does, because Miz will cash-in his money in the bank briefcase regardless.
This went into Garza vs Damian Priest, who was again accompanied by Bad Bunny at ringside. Fair play to the guy. He’s a mainstream star that actually loves wrestling so much he’s showing up every week. He just needs to stick around for two more episodes to see Priest through his three week push period.
Bad Bunny got Miz and Morrison ejected from ringside, letting Priest beat Garza.
Speaking of 3 week pushes…
After being made to look like a total chump last week to Bobby Lashley, Riddle had a No. 1 contender match of sorts for the US title against Keith Lee.
While Riddle’s promo about binge watching the AirBud franchise was what it was, the in-ring action between the two men was fantastic, as was MVP watching on from commentary. Lee pinned Riddle with a Spirit Bomb, and the two respectfully shook hands afterwards.
But Bobby Lashley’s gimmick ain’t got respect for anyone right now.
Lashley brutally beat down both men, Masterlocking Riddle again and taking out Lee with the steel steps. This is a great start to a Lee vs Lashley feud. Which means WWE announced a triple threat between Lee, Lashley and Riddle for Elimination Chamber. Hopefully it spins off into a singles program between Bobby and Keith for WrestleMania.
Caruso Alert! Bianca BelAir turned up backstage to say her Mania opponent might be Sasha Banks… and it might also be Asuka. Thanks for coming, Bianca. You told us so much.
Furthering the tag title feud after becoming No. 1 contenders last week, Lana took on Nia Jax in a tables match – picking up their tables storyline from three months ago that WWE have totally ignored since.
This was the five star rated match where Nia screamed ‘My Hole!’ after hitting her arse on the ring apron, and then Lana pushed her through a table to win.
This spun off into Shayna Baszler beating up Naomi, which Naomi won thanks to Lana distraction. Remember last year’s Elimination Chamber, where Shayna beat everyone. Pepperidge Farm remembers.
And the main event was another ‘momentum’ match between Randy Orton and Drew McIntyre, which WWE billed as ‘unfinished business’. And Drew himself hyped on Twitter:
“For the first time ever!!!!!!!!!! …………….in 2021”
They both have really good chemistry, playing moves and sequences off their 82 other matches from the past year. But it was again mired by another crappy finish. Sheamus came out early on, to eventually Brogue Kick Orton for the DQ. But Drew took him out to stand tall, putting over the idea that McIntyre is ready to face the multiple opponents of the Chamber.
Not the most inspiring finish to Raw. But after the last month of goofy supernatural bollocks, I’m fine with that.
What did you think of WWE Raw? Let me know in the comments, and vote in our Poll on a Pole match on Twitter, where 46% of you said it was good, but 30% thought it was Poor.
This was an episode. At least they’ve got stuff announced now for the Chamber pay-per-view. I really enjoyed Lee vs Riddle, even though it came at Riddle’s expense. And Priest is still getting over. But I find my expectations for Raw being so low right now. The finishes, the backwards stories, the repetitive matches. This week’s Raw is poor.