A WWE Christmas Carol

Chapter  3

When he looked up he was back in his bed. Maybe it had all been a dream he thought and tried to drift off to sleep, determined not to let this nightmare steal another moment of it. He had almost reached slumber when the salsa music came blaring down the hallway. What was this now?! Bad dreams and an intruder! Or was this the 2^nd ghost? Either way, he determined to deal with the problem and grabbed the folding chair he kept by his bedside.  The music persisted as he walked through the house toward the intruder.

As he rounded the corner there, stood before Ebenezer, was a wondrous sight.   Eddie Guerrero sat amongst a hoard of stolen jewelry and Latin food.

“Entra! Entra, and know me better, vato!” Guerrero exclaimed. Eddie then went back to rummaging through McMahon’s belongings as Ebenezer approached.

“Who are you?” McMahon asked.

“I’m the ghost of Xmas present. And PRESENTLY I’m taking all your stuff as a PRESENT for myself.”

“Shouldn’t you be showing me some vision of this Xmas and what I’m missing out on?”

Eddie let out an exasperated sigh, “Fine, let’s go, but I’m drivin’, cabrón.”

“Driving?!” Vince said with incredulity as he followed Eddie to the driveway. “You’re not gonna make a magic portal?”

“What the hell you talkin’ about? This is the portal,” Eddie said while pointing to the blue 1975 Cadillac Eldorado parked on the street. “A portal to all the senoritas, güey. How you think I got a girl as fine a Vickie, eh?!”

Vince opted to avoid the question as he got in the passenger’s side. The engine roared to life and they headed out with the music blaring. The wind whipped past Ebenezer at a snail’s pace. It was a lowrider after all. However, despite going low and slow, they stopped moments later outside of a small hovel. Eddie got out and motioned for McMahon to follow him. They crept up to the window of the small home and peered inside.

There sat on the dingy floor of a small room was Killian Dain, Eric Young, and Alexander Wolfe. Young shivered as the small fire before them began to gutter out. Killian wrapped his arm around the smaller man to warm him while Alexander threw another stack of letters from corporate telling them to stay home on the fire. At least they had plenty of those to feed the fire.

“Check out what has become of one of the most promising stables from NXT. You called them up and had nothing for them. Why even call them up? It’s been the biggest waste of time since Emmalina. You took Asuka and Shinsuke and all but destroyed their mystique. Both lost championship matches they should have won and derailed the momentum they’d been building since they premiered in NXT. Now Asuka’s streak is over and Shinsuke is holding on to a title you’ve repeatedly told the fans does not matter.”

“Look it’s a different crowd in NXT. More die hard. I have to appeal to a broader audience. Roman Reigns and Brock out-sell everyone in merch. The fans are voting with their wallets what they wanna see,” McMahon retorted.

“Oh yeah… how those ratings doin? Or for that matter, how’s the career of Cody Rhodes doin, pendejo, huh? You live on big moments and you’ve missed the chance to give the fans so many more. If you’d relent in pushing the same men and the same matches every damn week, you might win some of those fans back.”

“Well, I’ve done great things for other wrestlers, even if some NXT stars haven’t received their due. What about John Cena? That man ‘s a national treasure! The awards and the charity work, my God the man is an ambassador for the company and all the good we do!”

Eddie looked at him slyly, “you mean the guy who is sitting alone in his home after you exploited the messy breakup of his relationship for a reality show. Has to go out and consume himself with work so he doesn’t have to face the hollow void inside.”

“Dear God…” Ebenezer said with a shocked look of horror, “What the hell is wrong with the guy writing this.”

“Pretty bitter stuff, huh?” Eddie asked. “And what’s with letting UFC fighters squash your whole roster. You’re just telling every fan out there that MMA fighters are superior to wrestlers and that the UFC has a superior product.”

“I never realized what I was doing… No more spirit; please, relent in your torment!”

They got back in the car and Eddie hit the hydraulics. The car began to bounce, higher and higher until Ebenezer was himself being bounced out of his seat. One inch, then two, then three, until Ebenezer was lifter a full foot out of his seat by the force of the bounce. He shut his eyes bracing for the impact of the seat as he fell back to Earth but was surprised to be met with his memory foam mattress instead.

Ebenezer McMahon breathed a sigh of relief. He was back in his own bed, or maybe he’d never left. Maybe it was all a dream.  He checked the time on his phone: 1:45 A.M. Only 15 minutes until the next spirit would arrive. Ebenezer was determined to solve this mystery once and for all. Thus, he decided to stay awake until 2 o’clock to see if this apparition would actually appear or if it was only a dream after all. But it had felt so real he thought. No, he pushed that thought away and made his way to his study to occupy himself until the hour.

• Christmas Carol
• Christmas
• Vince McMahon
• wwe

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