I see myself as a positive person, and usually heading into a WWE PPV I look forward to it no matter what, because it generally means I’ve taken the next day off work . . . but also because I’m bound to see some wonderful wrestling.
But there are exceptions, and unfortunately, I’m finding it very hard to get excited for Fastlane.
I am absolutely not saying there won’t be good wrestling. I’m sure the WWE Championship six-pack-shenanigans will be a lot of fun, and if there last two clashes are anything to go by, the Usos vs New Day tag title match will be epic.
Let’s face it; if the main event is good, and there’s another great match in the mid-card, very few of us remember the rest of the PPV because our positive minds decide to block out matches like, oh I dunno, Becky Lynch & Naomi vs Carmella & Natalya.
Was that really the best you could come up with, WWE?
Anyway, here’s a rundown of the card from bottom to top (as I see it), and my best attempts to find something to praise about each match. Wish me luck.
Becky Lynch & Naomi vs Carmella & Natalya
I’m not making it easy for myself am I?
Anyway, I’m sure this will be fine, but given the fact that this feud spawned from Becky and Carmella falling out over Twitter, it’s not exactly a blood feud.
It would have been more interesting to just do a re-run of their SmackDown match, as it was a pretty good contest all things considered. Carmella’s in-ring ability certainly seems to have improved, anyway.
The addition of Naomi and Natalya does very little (apologies to any Natalya fans, but I’ve always thought she was a bit naff).
Anyway, a match that will be fine, but I doubt I’ll be screaming at the TV.
Predictions:
Oli – Natalya & Carmella
Luke – Becky & Naomi
Shinsuke Nakamura vs Rusev
Now, let me make this clear: this is only second on my list due to the lack of consequences that this match brings with it.
Also, it would be an utterly ridiculous booking decision for anything other than a Nakamura win to occur.
I expect plenty of Aiden English tomfoolery, but at the end, it will just be a case of: “Oh, Nakamura won. Well, that’s good.”
If given a decent amount of time, there’s no reason this match won’t be entertaining, given the talent of the two men involved, but it’s hard to get invested in a match that has had almost no build.
Predictions:
Oli – Shinsuke Nakamura
Luke – Shinsuke Nakamura
WWE United States Championship
Bobby Roode (c) vs Randy Orton
Bobby Roode in NXT was one of the best acts in the whole of the WWE bubble. His matches with Nakamura were up there with some of the best in 2017, so it seems incredible how much his main roster babyface run has diluted his appeal.
He’s a natural heel, and because of the growing amount of fans who also watch NXT, his babyface act just doesn’t feel believable.
If Randy is interested it will be a perfectly adequate bout between two in-ring veterans, and honestly, I can’t pick a winner at the moment.
You would expect some kind of Jinder Mahal (or “Kinder Mahal” as my phone likes to autocorrect to) interference, as rumor has it that the current plan for WrestleMania is a triple-threat between Mahal, Roode and Orton. What a thriller that promises to be . . .
So I guess my message is: Please Bobby, turn heel.
Predictions:
Oli – Randy Orton
Luke – Bobby Roode
WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship
Charlotte Flair (c) vs Ruby Riott
I’ve been impressed with Ruby Riott. She came onto the roster as the leader of SmackDown’s pirated copy of RAW’s Absolution stable, but has since quite comfortably inserted herself into the women’s title picture.
Both women are good on the mic and in the ring, so in terms of a match, it’s likely to be pretty solid, but once again, the build has been pretty lackluster, and it would be incredible if Charlotte dropped the belt.
I would say that arguably the most intriguing thing about this match is the possibility of a Carmella Money in the Bank cash in, which many are speculating about since she returned to WWE TV after a multi-week hiatus.
Personally I think they’ll hold off on the cash in until ‘Mania, where there are even rumors Carmella could cash in on Asuka if she beats Charlotte. Imagine; Carmella ends Asuka’s streak. Wow.
Predictions:
Oli – Charlotte Flair
Luke – Charlotte Flair
WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championships
The Usos (c) vs The New Day
Now this is where I begin to salivate, and not just because I will have opened my pack of 12 donuts by this point to get me through the show. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the show-opener, because Fastlane could really do with two top matches to bookend it.
Their SummerSlam pre-show fight and their Hell In A Cell epic were two of the best tag matches I have ever seen, so I genuinely cannot wait to see what they throw at us on Sunday.
Some have complained that we’ve seen it before and that the build has been short, but honestly, I couldn’t disagree more.
Yes, the build has been two weeks, but their promo battle transfixed me, like I haven’t been transfixed by a non-wrestling segment in ages. The passion shown by both teams was wonderful, and if you like seeing good wrestling and spectacle, look no further.
Predictions:
Oli – Double DQ
Luke – Usos
WWE Championship
AJ Styles (c) vs John Cena vs Baron Corbin vs Dolph Ziggler vs Sami Zayn vs Kevin Owens
No, you haven’t seen this match before, you just think you did.
Unlike the fatal-5-way on last week’s SmackDown, this match has a lime-flavored topping in the shape of one John Cena.
I have no doubt that this match will be a lot of fun and full of great spots, just look at the men involved and you know you’re going to be entertained.
The issue with this match comes in the amount of people used up in it. If you cut out a couple of names and put them into other feuds, the rest of the show would feel more exciting.
Hopefully AJ retains and we still have our dream ‘Mania match with Nakamura to look forward to. But this is WWE after all, so congratulations Baron Corbin, you’re off to WrestleMania!
Predictions:
Oli – AJ Styles
Luke – AJ Styles
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