WWE SmackDown Live – July 23, 2019 (Review)

WWE SmackDown Live – July 23, 2019 (Review)

As our churning stomachs recover from a characteristically self-absorbed, backwards-looking Raw Reunion, SmackDown Live loomed as a potential tonic. Something to direct us away from the nonsense of Monday night and get us back on track to what really matters.

SummerSlam.

It may seem absurd to even consider the notion so close to WWE’s biggest show of the summer, but just three weeks out from the annual showpiece, it’s clear that the company has badly lost its way. WWE has become the Hansel & Gretel of the wrestling landscape, desperately searching for the breadcrumbs to lead it out of the woods, but finding only gingerbread houses and D-Generation X.

Nowhere was this more apparent than on the Raw Reunion show on Monday. The show quickly degenerated into a string of nods to the past, including Gerald Brisco’s long-awaited retribution on Pat Patterson and Alundra Blayze almost throwing another championship in the trash. Those are references to events from over two decades ago!

But among all of those incredibly contemporary references, oddly absent was any discernible build to SummerSlam. It was bizarre. With less than three weeks to the pay-per-view, it seemed that WWE had abandoned all narrative continuity in favour of pure, unadulterated fan service. We had taken a temporary reprieve from regular, continuous programming and replaced it with a collective fever dream of sentimentality. It was like a Native American vision quest.

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And so, as dawn broke on a new day, SmackDown Live would be asked to fulfil a dual purpose. On the one hand, it needed to be the palate cleanser that helped rid us of the turgid aftertaste of Monday’s Raw. And on the other, it would ideally serve as a delicious appetizer, whetting the appetite for the SummerSlam main course.

But could it possibly be the roasted artichoke we so desperately needed? Let’s get to the review.


The Best of SmackDown Live

United States Title Defence

Last week, I took issue with Apollo Crews picking up an inexplicable win over the far more popular Andrade. Well, this week we saw reasoning behind that decision as Crews faced Shinsuke Nakamura.

Despite having marginal fan support behind him, I have to admit that Crews put in a pretty good showing against the United States Champion. Ultimately, he fell short – because of course he would. But the match was nevertheless an entertaining encounter, with both men enjoying periods of ascendency.

Doing it absolutely no favours though was the obnoxious commentary throughout. Big E and Xavier Woods were constantly yelling over one another, and Otunga was spouting his usual array of excitement killers. His commentary is like the anti-viagra.

Fire, Desire & Mass Confusion

In what might be remembered as one of the most unintentionally funny segments of the year, Mandy Rose apparently had some good news to Sonya Deville. At least I think it was good news, because truthfully the entire thing was simply incomprehensible.

Sitting beside Deville, Mandy revealed that she had an off-screen chat with Shane McMahon. She divulged to the boss a supposed incident where the IIconics made fun of something that Kevin Owens once did to him. I really can’t be any more precise than that, because it’s the exact line that Rose stumbled through.

This, though, was where things started to go off the rails. The only way to do justice to the bombastic dialogue that followed is to quote it directly.

Rose: “We’re getting a match next week.

Deville: “Wait. Are you saying next week we have a Women’s Tag Team Title match?”

Rose: “Yep. And if we win, we deserve… a Tag Team Title match!

I replayed this exchange three times and still have no clue whether their match next week is for the Women’s Tag Team Titles or not. And there’s no mention of the segment whatsoever on any of WWE’s social media platforms.

A Serpentine WWE Challenger

An exceedingly cheerful Kofi Kingston took to the ring to name the person he hoped would be his next title challenger. After the events of last week, it came as no surprise when that person turned out to be Randy Orton.

Kingston alluded to the pair’s very real-life history, marked by Orton’s backstage politicking to keep Kingston confined to the mid-card scene. The former claimed that he was doing Kofi a favour at the time, because he wasn’t ready for the big stage. And Orton never needed to resort to gimmicks to get himself over. He never needed to put on a Jamaican accent or throw pancakes at the crowd. All he needed was to be Randy Orton.

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And so he accepted Kofi’s challenge for SummerSlam. Given the menacing undertone of this exchange, I couldn’t be happier to see it either.

It was a nice change of pace to have a babyface Champion throw down the gauntlet to a handpicked opponent, instead of the customary blindside attack from an ambitious heel. Also, the Miami crowd was massively behind Kingston, making the entire event feel big-time.

An Extreme Rules Rematch

Samoa Joe was given another shot at re-establishing himself in a non-title rematch against Kofi Kingston. Fortunately, Joe didn’t suffer another loss this week, as an interfering Randy Orton caused a DQ.

So, come to think of it, I suppose Joe did lose. But at least he wasn’t pinned or hit with a finisher.

Well, except when Orton hit him with the RKO. Which opened the window for Kofi to land a Trouble in Paradise on Randy.

Facetiousness aside, this was a fun match, with a logical interference angle and a sensible conclusion.

A Shock Return!

Finn Bálor stepped into the ring for an interview with not-mean Kayla Braxton. Following on last week’s electrifying attack by ‘The Fiend’, Finn challenged Wyatt to a match at SummerSlam. So far, so —

HOLY SMOKES, THE FIREFLY FUNHOUSE IS BACK!

Bray appeared alongside old pals Rambling Rabbit and Mercy The Buzzard to proclaim his admiration for Bálor. In fact, the three of them are big fans of the Irishman.

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But ‘The Fiend’ isn’t a fan. He isn’t a man either. As Wyatt began describing the horror and violence of his alter ego, an unsettling glazed look crossed his face… punctuated by a demand to let him in.

The match at SummerSlam is set. The next few weeks should be great.

A Champion Overlooked

Charlotte tracked down Sarah Schreiber backstage to air her frustrations over not being on the SummerSlam card. She then demanded to be a part of the pay-per-view and promised that – in contrast to Bayley – her opponent would be better than Ember Moon.

With one possible contender already emerging, count me intrigued.

Chaotic Main Event

With just five minutes left in the broadcast, following the half dozen or so entrances for everyone involved in the hodgepodge, the main event was always destined to be a car crash.

Again, despite the presence of Elias, Shane McMahon and Drew McIntyre, Roman Reigns and Kevin Owens decided to wrestle each other rather than immediately take out all the heels. Am I missing something here? Do Reigns and KO not have serious beef with every member of Shane’s Coalition of Mid-Carders?

Fortunately, common sense did indeed prevail as, after a couple of interventions by McIntyre, Reigns decided to just clock him right on the chin and toss him over the rope. A quick punch to Elias later, and Shane was left all alone to battle Reigns and Owens.

With nowhere to hide, the boss endured a superman punch and a Stunner. Then, with the crowd chanting “one more time“, Owens delivered another Stunner before grabbing a mic to promise to “kick Shane’s ass” at SummerSlam.


The Worst of SmackDown Live

A Sluggish Start

If the intention was for SmackDown to start strong, then this opening fell woefully (and confusingly) off the mark.

After a lengthy package recapped the events of the past two weeks vis-à-vis Shane McMahon and Kevin Owens, the first image we saw as the live show kicked in was Big E and Xavier Woods dancing on the commentary desks. WHAT?

Without explanation, they then took their seats as guest announcers just as Shane made his way to the ring to make a series of disagreeable announcements. Disagreeable announcement #1: the Raw Reunion was an excellent show that celebrated legends of the past and current superstars alike. Nope.

Objectionable take #2: Shane will face Kevin Owens at SummerSlam, in a match that if Owens loses, he will be forced to quit the company. And finally, the sweaty Fava Bean introduced a clip from a year ago, which displayed a disgruntled KO quitting after a loss to Seth Rollins. As if we needed a reminder of that awful, suddenly aborted storyline.

Strangest of all though was that once KO came out to bring an end to this overlong tedium, Shane was able to escape a beating simply by threatening to cancel the pair’s SummerSlam encounter. It makes no sense. Given the supposed bad blood between them, surely all Owens wants is beat up Shane O’Mac. Why would he care whether it happened last night or at SummerSlam?

Before we could linger on that point though, Shane booked Owens in a match against Roman Reigns. And in a later backstage segment, Shane revealed that Drew McIntyre would be the special guest referee for that match, with Shane acting as the special ring announcer and Elias as guest timekeeper.

And again, why were The New Day on commentary throughout this opening segment? None of it made even the slightest semblance of sense.

The Hidden Announcer

It took until the first match of the night to realise that, in addition to the New Day, David Otunga was on commentary. This is now – and forever will be – a truly horrific discovery.

The Path to Redemption

Ali cut another impassioned promo from a nondescript stairwell this week. Once again – just as in recent weeks – this promo was impeccably well delivered, with Ali genuinely emoting every single word.

But neither delivery nor substance has ever been an issue for the former 205 Live standout. He’s an incredibly motivated wrestler, intent on erasing the misfortune he suffered at the beginning of the year. The untimely injury that ruled him out of a shot at the WWE Championship – an opportunity that ultimately went to Kofi Kingston. Ali claimed that none of it mattered, that he would be the author of his own destiny from this moment.

And for what it’s worth, I believed him. But as long as he’s wondering the streets of Chicago or sitting in an empty stairwell, all of the conviction in the world won’t save him. Just ask Aleister Black. He needs to get back in the ring, and pronto.

“Enough, Enough, Enough Already”

Shawn Michaels appeared as the marquee guest on Miz TV last night, annoyingly serenaded to the ring by the New Day. I hate to keep harping on this point, but the commentary team was torturous.

Michaels reminisced about Raw Reunion, while the Miz took every opportunity to plug The Marine 6: Close Quarters, available on DVD and Blu-ray now.

This effort at gaslighting the audience into believing that either product was worth anything was brought to an end by… who else?… Dolph Ziggler.

He labelled Shawn’s efforts at Crown Jewel, in which the Hall of Famer came out of retirement to face The Undertaker and Kane, an embarrassment. For his part, Michaels agreed with the assessment but shot back that it wasn’t as embarrassing as being “a second-rate, Shawn Michaels wannabe“.

This back-and-forth went on a while longer, until The Miz challenged Ziggler to cut the talk and “do something”. A small kerfuffle broke out, ending with Ziggler superkicking Michaels and then fleeing from Miz.

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This just felt like such a long, tenuous way to get to Miz vs. Ziggler at SummerSlam, if that is indeed what this angle was designed to set-up. Surely the same goal could’ve been achieved without the interposition of Shawn Michaels and all the inane babble about Raw Reunion and The Marine 6.

A Blown Chance

In what was the perfect opportunity to establish Ember Moon as a legitimate threat to Bayley’s SmackDown Women’s Title, the ‘War Goddess’ faced off against Charlotte. All she had to do was put in a good performance here, beat Charlotte in a closely contested bout and then move on to SummerSlam. That’s how you build title challengers.

What happened instead was that ten seconds into the match Bayley’s music played, which distracted Charlotte long enough for Moon roll her up for the sneaky win. While celebrating, she then threw Bayley into the ring to collect a boot to the back of the head from Charlotte, before delivering Eclipses to both women.

The fluky victory over Charlotte rendered the result utterly meaningless and the weird quasi-heel turn afterwards lacked any conviction. This was the perfect example of WWE overcomplicating what should have been a simple segment.

Another Commentary Change

Prior to Kofi’s big announcement on who his SummerSlam opponent would be, The New Day were replaced on commentary by Michael Cole. This was reminiscent of the old choice between getting stabbed or being poisoned.

Also, Byron Saxton’s absence was explained as him taking some time off following the passing of his father over the weekend. That just sucks. I’m sure I speak for fans everywhere when wishing him the best in this awful time.


Overall Rating for the Show (From best to worst: SmackDamn, SmackTastic, Smack Bang in the Middle, SmackDowner and A Smack in the Face)

It took considerable time for SmackDown Live to get going this week. And for the longest time it appeared to be on the path to matching Monday night’s level of ineptitude.

But then things turned around, catalysed by perhaps one of the most surprising culprits in wrestling history. SmackDown Live got decidedly better – and you’ll likely never hear me say this again – when Michael Cole arrived.

The first phase of the show was characterised by overlong exposition on the part of Shane McMahon, an awful women’s title segment and more Dolph Ziggler complaining. Once the infuriating commentary situation was resolved though, momentum appeared to shift.

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Phase two produced some good wrestling, the anointing of the next WWE Championship challenger, and the surprise return of the Firefly Funhouse. And that’s not even mentioning what is possibly the most amusing backstage gaffe since Sycho Sid’s run with the company.

With such a mixed bag on display – half the show good, half badly lagging – it only makes sense to split the difference. As such, SmackDown Live this week was Smack Bang in the Middle.

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5 years ago by Nicholas Holicki

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