I was worried that I was going to get through this whole week without writing a completely ridiculous headline, but thankfully Xavier Woods and his butthole have come to my rescue.
As you will no doubt know by now, Woods suffered a very serious Achilles tendon injury last week and has since undergone surgery. While he will be out for up to a year, it turns out the injury has brought more issues than first anticipated.
We may not see him in the ring for a while, but it turns out that’s not the most concerning ring for Xavier right now.
Woods took to Twitter to announce that the injury has made it far harder to poo due to only having one foot on the ground to gain pushing power from.
It’s really hard it is to try and poop with just one foot on the ground. I never knew how much of my rectal power came from me pressing both my heels into the floor until now. Start a hashtag for my O ring if it doesn’t survive the night….
— Austin Creed’s Off Season (@XavierWoodsPhD) October 30, 2019
For those concerned for his safety, we can thankfully reveal that Woods survived the ordeal.
I finally won. But at what cost….
— Austin Creed’s Off Season (@XavierWoodsPhD) October 30, 2019
I think we can all agree that getting Woods and his butthole into a healthy condition is now our number one priority.
#prayforxaviersbutthole
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