11 Worst Wrestling Championship Belts Ever

3. Jeff Hardy Is History’s Greatest Monster

Jeff Hardy was one of my favourite wrestlers when I first started watching wrestling. He’s beloved, he’s a legend, please never let him design anything ever again. He made Wiilow, aka what would happen if the penguin and sting had a baby and that baby was also a My Chemical Romance tree, he made face makeup that looks like a member of sesame street having a severe allergic reaction, but worst of all, he made the immortal belt. It’s based on one of his paintings and oh my sweet jesus. Purple strap, dangerous points, and oh no that face, like if Dr Manhattan found himself at burning man, the design even comes with earplugs. Fun fact, there have been multiple jeff hardy personalised belts. Here’s another one. Oh the deep terror.


2. What Women Want 

Bloody hell the women of WWE have had to carry around some bulls*** in their time haven’t they? The Women’s Championship that Fabulous Moolah carried around had a picture of her headshot on it like a princess diana commemorative plate, the belt that Alundra Blaze held pretty much by herself was alright until she f***ing binned it, then came the years of the bit of burnt sausage skin, can’t believe we’d become nostalgic for that stretched turd. Never forget the awful laycool belt where they each carried a shattered half of the championship. The modern belts that Smackdown and Raw have are much better, but again like the WWE championship, they’re just a gaudy corporate logo, the women’s tag championships are toys and now we have to talk about the butterfly belt. The divas championship was created in 2008 and ran all the way until 2016 and it was the utter, utter worst.


1. Look At This Rinky Dink Piece of S***

The 24/7 Championship. F***ing hell. It looks like the world’s bleakest sobriety chip. It looks like the kind of plate millionaires eat off when they’re pretending to eat at a diner for class conscious kinkplay. It’s looks like the physical manifestation of “that’ll do”. It looks like something Slick Rick would wear around his neck. It looks like Donald Trump’s frisbee. It looks like your least favourite child’s least favourite drawing. It looks like something that Rob Gronkowski would carry around. It looks like God died. Like, yeah ok, it’s a joke title, and it’s done great things for R-Truth, but shouldn’t it also look like something that someone would want to win? Should it look like anything other than a drawing on a napkin? Is this how far it’s come that the number 1 and wealthiest wrestling company in the world would put this out there and we just accept it? Who did this? Why did this? Let’s just… look at the IWGP heavyweight Championship. There. All better.

4 years ago by Adam Blampied

@AdamTheBlampied

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