Few things trigger concern quite like the words “relive” and “SmackDown” in the same sentence. They conjure up images of video recaps, unnecessary repetition and complete narrative stagnation.
And yet, that’s precisely what WWE believe the Braun Strowman / Bray Wyatt storyline needs right now. Because apparently the convoluted, multi-tiered, cerebral story is too complex for our small minds to comprehend, so it needs to be rehashed. As if it’s not just two guys about to fight in a swamp on account of having been in the same cult for a couple of months five years ago.
But whatever. Maybe I’m the only hypercritical goof who gets annoyed when WWE does the absolute bare minimum to create TV.
TONIGHT on #SmackDown!@DanaBrookeWWE @NaomiWWE @LaceyEvansWWE @TaminaSnuka pic.twitter.com/Ue90jwxran
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
On to better things and the rest of SmackDown actually looked fairly appetising. The New Day were set to defend their titles against Cesaro and Nakamura. Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross had another showdown with Bayley and Banks on the cards. And Jeff Hardy was scheduled to putter around on MizTV, in a segment doomed to be overly long and in poor taste.
But hey, as long-time WWE fans, we’re learnt to eat a little MizTV every now and then and enjoy it. So, to recap another edition of Friday Night, let’s get to the review!
The Best of Smackdown
Bayley and Banks Continue their Reign
It took me a while to come around on this, but Sasha Banks’ entrance music now triggers a Pavlovian-type response in me. I hear the opening “bum-ba-da-dum” and immediately bolt upright. Not even Michael Cole’s robotic “it’s Boss Time!” dampens my delight at seeing the Women’s Tag Team Champions.
.@NikkiCrossWWE isn't waiting around to get this party started!#SmackDown @itsBayleyWWE @SashaBanksWWE @AlexaBliss_WWE pic.twitter.com/qqEsX7PKQp
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
While Bayley and Banks were making their way to the ring though, they were jumped by Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross. It was a neat way to move to the commercial break.
Of course, when we returned to the action, Sasha and Bayley were in control. Because in the world of WWE, continuity is but an inconvenient toll booth on the storytelling highway. Not particularly necessary and can always be bypassed by taking an alternative route.
Be that as it may, Banks & Bayley continued their assault, only stumbling slightly after getting distracted by Michael Cole’s insulting commentary. They really should just tune him out – it’s what the rest of us do.
After another prolonged period of dominance from the Champions, Bliss managed to turn the tide on Bayley and tag in Cross, who went mad. She almost had the match won following a cracking neck breaker, but Banks made the last-second save.
.@itsBayleyWWE & @SashaBanksWWE pick up the win on #SmackDown! pic.twitter.com/n7jw4sHA9e
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
Banks then attacked Bliss on the outside and Bayley capitalised on the misdirection to roll up Cross, sealing the pin by placing her feet on the ropes. So a solid match, ending with Bayley scoring a dubious pin over her Extreme Rules challenger. I’m all about it.
Styles Gets Some Unwelcome News
A cocky AJ Styles was informed that he would be defending his Intercontinental Championship against Matt Riddle next week. His minor freakout was quite amusing.
NEXT WEEK on #SmackDown!#ICTitle @AJStylesOrg @SuperKingofBros pic.twitter.com/JDs90hhzmw
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
Even better though will undoubtedly be the match between the pair, which promises nothing short of excellence.
The New Day Retains… Barely
The main event was built throughout the night with separate backstage interviews of Cesaro & Nakamura and the New Day. The former spent their time rebuking the notion that a victory should be considered an upset, while the latter assured us that they weren’t taking their opponents lightly. It really was all rather good stuff and I’m not doing it justice here.
Suddenly, @WWECesaro…
💪 💪 💪 💪 👊 #SmackDown #TagTeamTitles pic.twitter.com/S1cyGXUYKF
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
Cesaro and Nakamura demonstrated their impeccable mat-based grappling skills to keep the New Day members grounded. Kofi attempted to turn the tide with a bold leap over the top rope, but gravity steered him straight into an uppercut from Cesaro.
With Kofi perched in the corner, he used Big E’s assistance to land a Meteora on Cesaro for a near fall. Nakamura saved the day, took the tag and suplexed Kingston, who needed Big E to make the save.
With all four men in the ring, things rapidly broke down into an all-out brawl, causing the referee to call for the bell. That didn’t deter the competitors though, who continued to fight around ringside. Big E was driven into the steps. Cesaro set up a table in the ring, placed Big E on it and then powerbombed Kofi from the second rope through his partner.
😮 😮 😮 😮#SmackDown #TagTeamTitles @WWECesaro @ShinsukeN pic.twitter.com/lGSkUWSxnK
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
A solid match was undone by yet another example of a shoddy finish. WWE has developed an awful habit of delivering these non-results, which really service no one. But the post-fight beatdown was pretty good and I can’t say that Cesaro and Nakamura were made to look bad. I’m just hopeful it leads to a full match with a conclusive finish at some point.
The Worst of SmackDown
Jeff Defeats Two Foes
Miz and Morrison got the show underway with some shenanigans and silly behaviour. Bless them, they work hard and admittedly stumble upon a funny line every once in a while.
This week their guest was Jeff Hardy. Which automatically made me question why on Earth Jeff would ever agree to appear on MizTV? He must know they’re just going to further make light of his addictions. So why would he want to go on the show?
.@mikethemiz & @TheRealMorrison are asking the HARD-HITTING questions on #MizTV.#SmackDown @JEFFHARDYBRAND pic.twitter.com/NAMZvsOY4e
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
Plot holes aside, this segment was exactly what you’d expect it to be. Miz and Morrison cued a clip, recapping Sheamus’ toast of last week. Because everything in WWE needs a video recap – even if it was just seven days ago.
Back to the ring and Miz told Hardy that he was worried about the consequences of Miz’s daughter idolising Jeff. Because, addiction. It’s always addiction. We’ve been beating the same drum for two months now.
Jeff vowed to put his past behind him, strive to be a better person and inspire others. Miz suggested the perfect match to have Jeff vanquish both of his major foes: Sheamus and alcohol. He proposed a bar fight. Hardy accepted. And then he punched Miz in the mouth.
Fortunately everyone was in their wrestling gear, so we transitioned to a match between Hardy and Miz. I have no idea why WWE is forcing Jeff into a bar fight, nor why his entire identity has been reduced to “man with history of addiction”. It’s derivative, insulting and rather offensive.
Twenty Minute Tedium
SmackDown rounded out its first quarter with an exceedingly boring match between Jeff Hardy and The Miz. The recurring theme of the contest went as follows: Miz slowly got the heat on Jeff, Jeff threatened to mount a comeback, Morrison interfered, Jeff would hit one massive move, ad break. This went on for 20 minutes!
😶 😶 😶#SmackDown @mikethemiz @JEFFHARDYBRAND pic.twitter.com/jysG7ghMUz
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
Eventually Sheamus appeared on the screen, distracting Hardy for an excruciatingly long time. The misdirect allowed Miz to sneak up on Jeff. He rolled him up, but Jeff used the momentum to reverse the pin and secure the three-count. Then he just scampered up the ramp and we cut to a backstage interview with Cesaro and Nakamura. *Exaggerated shrug*
Memories
Michael Cole and Corey Graves introduced the “Braun Strowman / Bray Wyatt reliving” by saying that no-one has any idea what to expect at the Swamp Match at Extreme Rules. One thing was for sure though – Braun Strowman wasn’t afraid. Well, that makes one of us because I’m downright terrified that the match will be a steaming pile of garbage.
Take a look back at @WWEBrayWyatt & @BraunStrowman's battle at #MITB 2020 RIGHT NOW on #SmackDown!#TheHorrorShow pic.twitter.com/NbFHcNV40H
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
What exactly did the “reliving” of this feud entail? This storied rivalry that we’ve been led to believe has spanned several years? Well, Michael Cole promised to take us back all the way to the beginning. All the way back… to Money in the Bank two months ago.
COME ON!
The entirety of the pair’s match in May was then replayed in full on SmackDown. Did it add anything to the feud? No. Does it clarify any of the nonsense Braun has spouted about swamp snakes and devils and whatnot? No. Should anyone invest in this rivalry in the slightest, given that WWE can’t even be bothered to properly explain what it’s all about?
Karaoke Showdown
Jey Uso welcomed us all to the first ever (and dare I say last ever) SmackDown Karaoke Showdown. Just a casual reminder that Fox paid $1 Billion for the rights to air this show.
Lacey Evans, Dana Brooke, Naomi and Tamina all got an opportunity to sing their favourite WWE theme songs for our aural… pleasure? Thank you women’s revolution.
It's KARAOKE TIME on #SmackDown!@WWEUsos @LaceyEvansWWE @DanaBrookeWWE @TaminaSnuka @NaomiWWE pic.twitter.com/sOhACyXQ31
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
Lacey sang “With My Baby Tonight“. Dana sang the Honkey Tonk Man’s theme. Tamina channeled “The Game“. And Naomi rounding things off with a rendition of Dusty Rhodes’ “Common Man Boogie“. Then the audience arbitrarily decided that Naomi had won.
Aggrieved by the result, Lacey jumped her. Both women removed their shoes and Jey was forced to separate them. Even by 1999 standards, this would’ve been horrendous.
The Lows of the Women’s Division
After the break, Lacey and Naomi had a match. Between Naomi’s lime-green jump-suit and Evans’ flowing red dress, I could barely see anything.
.@LaceyEvansWWE battles @NaomiWWE in an impromptu matchup RIGHT NOW on #SmackDown! pic.twitter.com/IYriQPTJUr
— WWE (@WWE) July 11, 2020
Fortunately there wasn’t much to see as after a few minutes, Dana Brooke and Tamina got involved, causing the match to be thrown out and a bunch of referees to be called upon to separate the women.
We cut backstage and all Sarah Schreiber could muster was a disinterested “wow, some people take their karaoke very seriously.” Christ Almighty, people.
Overall Rating for the Show (From best to worst: Smacknificent, SmackTastic, Smack Bang in the Middle, SmackDowner and A Smack in the Face)
SmackDown was quietly chugging along, not causing too much excitement nor any real disappointment. That was until the Karaoke Showdown rolled around. That abomination alone tempted me to break the scale by inventing a rating below 1. It was, truthfully, the unadulterated absolute zero of professional wrestling in 2020.
Fortunately the night didn’t end on that dud though, and the show delivered a decent tag match to close out. While even that ended in shoddy fashion, it was nevertheless enough to lift it above true abomination.
So, left with just a boring opening quarter, more tedium in the Bray and Braun storyline, and just Banks & Bayley to tide us over, SmackDown remained bad this week. Awful, in fact.
This week’s show was A Smack in the Face.
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4 years ago by Nicholas Holicki
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