10. Vince McMahon
The mad man who says mad things.
I think the saddest thing about Vince McMahon today is not just those eyebrows, those mad thin eyebrows, what’s going on there, it’s that Vince can’t go on the mic like he used to, because honestly in his prime, he was the best promo on his own roster.
The sheer tonnage of madness that Vince has said, and said with such demented relish that you can’t help but enjoy it, whether he was cussing out Austin, the fans, or god himself.
I miss that insanity, I really do.
9. Jake Roberts
Everyone shouted in the 80s. But in a land of sound and fury signifying nothing, Jake Roberts whispered louder than anyone.
He spoke with such careful deliberation, such poise and such precise menace and the fact that in an era of flag-waving, insane ramblings and screamed catchphrases, the fact that there were also wrestlers dropping bombs like, “you will be a victim of your own greed, wallowing in the muck of avarice.”
8. Eddie Kingston
Eddie Kingston might just be the best promo currently wrestling.
We’ve talked about Kevin Owens and his natural delivery, but Kingston has supernatural delivery. I believe Eddie Kingston, I believe every single thing he says, one mouthful of glass at a time.
He’s made Jon Moxley better than he ever was before, he dismantles wrestling promo etiquette and lots of people can make a crowd yell, it takes a special talent to make them silent.
He’s wrestling’s Al Pacino and he scares me.
7. Dusty Rhodes
The dad of the grandson of a plumber, Dusty Rhodes has ascended to promo godhood.
He became the gatekeeper for WWE’s next generation of storytellers, the engineer tinkering with the finest generation of characters NXT ever saw, because Dusty knew how to make that connection, that ability to reach out, and take the hand of those watching, and make them follow him.
When you talk about a wrestling promo as poetry, Dusty was the king of knitting fragments of the working class American story into something touching, real, and that galloped at bewitching speed.
6. Roddy Piper
Hotrod was charisma in a kilt.
He was able to delicately tread the line between funny and scary, ready to switch on you at any moment.
That unpredictability is what made him such a fantastic promo, made Piper’s pit the best, and never-ever-topped wrestler interview segment and also explains why he’s one of the best wrestler-turned-actors ever, with They Live and his role as The Maniac in Always Sunny being works of genius.
So many great piper soundbites, he was the best.
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